Tuesday 12.01.2010 7.15pm
So, after a very lively night of a lot of toilet-time I decided to finally go to se a real doctor, which meant going all the way to Hospet. Luckily I ended up the Ayurvedic doctor's place right across my guesthouse. Isn't it funny how we sometimes don't see the things that are really right in front of us and instead try to reach for the far?
This doctor asked me many things about my physical state and about the last few days and so on, and after he checked my abdomen and I told him about the very funny and loud noises in my belly he diagnosed that i got "Amoebia". Apparently it's a sort of parasite that you can get either from food or water, which was infected. After that he went off to his clinic in another town, where he got us (for me and for Cyriac, too) some Ayurvedic medicine against it. Now I have a whole cocktail of different things that I have to take,but according to what he's said the medicine should make me feel better within the next two days. I really hope he's right. Though I must say that I already feel more energetic than this morning. This morning I was so so weak and exhausted, it was too much. He reckons that I can start teaching the day after tomorrow again. let's see how it goes. At the moment I still have diarrhea, but that hopefully is gonna stop very soon. I met Julien and Erika next door today. That was a nice surprise to see some familiar faces, and especially some who are not drunk or stoned all the time. Hampi, Hampi...keeps me sitting on the fence, between staying here and moving on. I guess this on-off-feeling will keep propping up as long as I'm here. Sometimes I just get an overload of all the ganja-atmosphere everywhere, where like a normal conversation is at times really not easy to find. But nevermind, this is not my business, so why bother, right? It's so nice to feel some traces of energy coming back to my body-it feels like too long ago that I've felt that before. I hope it stays like that!
Hari Om

Friday 15.01.2010 7.40pm
I'm feeling much much better, though I threw up my lunch from today. But altogether I think I'm getting healthy again, at least that's how it feels right now. I got back to teaching yesterday, too and it's going OK. Yesterday morning I was having my breakfast when suddenly Annie showed up, who's a friend of mine i met last year in Mexico. The world is really getting smaller and smaller. It's so good to see her again.
Concerning my travels I'm getting mad. I feel unable to make decision here. It feels ike this place is sucking my energy and in the same time kind of doesn't let me go. It's weired! But I want to leave. I'm being in contact with Alicia and we might meet up somewhere and move on together. That would be sweet actually. Otherwise I just move on south by myself, that's OK, too. I just feel like getting out of here! Even the Yoga teaching became kinda bad. I don't know what's going on, but my mind is not being very balanced the last days. I need some change of environment. This one is not being very good on me. And I'm not doing the massage course, either. I decided that it's too much money for me now and that it's just not the right time for it. Today I went with Shulamid, Jan, Anita and Marco (some friends from my guesthouse) to the other side to see the Vittala temple. It was a vert strange energy though throughout the day - it was sun eclipse, maybe it had to do with that. In the end we didn't enter, cause it was too expensive. But the I'm happy that I went anyways as the way to the temple is just absolutely gorgeous passing through some special rockformations and little caves and temples next to the river, which I all haven't seen before. So, that was nice. I'm gonna check out tomorrow! There must be a way to leave Hampi, no?!
Hari Om

Sunday 17.01.2010 10pm
Yay! I made it - I left Hampi;)
Yesterday morning I gave my last Yoga class at Shanti, which was really beautiful actually as the energy of my students was very nice. Then I had nice relaxed breakfast with them, packed my stuff, checked out and went with Anita and Marco on the side to meet up with Annie. After we all had lunch together I went with Annie and nother girl to finally visit Vittala and some other temples. It was a very relaxed and awesome day, especially talking to Annie was so much fun. I like her a lot, she's so full of positive energy and very inspiring to me. I hope to visit her this summer in Croatia. In the evening we ate dinner together in the Mango tree, which was a nice way to say goodbye to Hampi and then I went off to Hospet to take the overnight bus to Bangalore. Everything worked out very smoothly and without any complications. In Bangalore I caught the local bus to Pondicherry and got here by 3pm. What I didn't know though was that there's some local holiday here, which is the reason why all the guesthouses are fully booked out until February! But, of course, there's always a solution as long as you just trust. So, I met a nice young man on the street whom I had lunch with (and a REAL! croissant and Cappuccino!:) and there I met that girl who's staying in one of the many Ashram guesthouses. Though I didn't get a room in her one, after some more asking, talking and more "coincedences" I got a great room in another Ashram Guesthouse with private bathroom for 70 Rupees and I can eat at the Ashram for 20 Rupees per day! This is defenitevely the cheapest place I've stayed so far. Then it turned that I'm doubly lucky as they normally don't accept foreign guests and now I'm only here because the night guard is new and didn't know about that rule. Pondicherry I really like so far. It's very very different to all the other Indian cities I've seen. Especially the variety of restaurants is amazing. Hey, you get real french pastries here! hOW WILL i EVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE THIS PLACE AGAIN?! I was walking around with that German woman for a short while and that was enough to get reminded why I decided to leave that country. Thanks for reminding me universe, I almost forgot! It's hard to explain what it is, but I can only say that the whole time I felt very unnatural with her. She made me feel "different", but not in a good way...OK, I'll finally recharge my battery a bit and get some sleep after that long journey.
Hari Om
P.S.: Got a horrible diarrhea again yesterday. I wonder how long it's gonna take to be fine again. My cough is getting very bad, too. My whole chest hurts and is full of mucus.

Wednesday 20.01.2010 10.15pm
Yay yay. life liife I love youhouuuuuuuu!
I just came back from a Indian dance performance, which was just amazing! There's a festival going on here at the moment, which is called "Bonjour India" and organised by the French cultural Ministry or so. Anyways, it's free, awesome and goes on for 8 days. So, where can I start? Yesterday I met Alicia and Annemiek at Aurobeach and we spent the day in Auroville together. Walking around, visiting the Matrimandir (which is that famous big round golfball-esh object) eating delicious food and talking to nice people. Auroville actually impressed me a lot I must say. It's such a huge project, such a big vision and so much wonderful work has already been done and so many beautiful things are still in progress. I wish I had more time to get more into it. But I know, I really know that I will come back here. It's just too fascinating! And also I wanna see and seriously check if this might be my place...yeah, Auroville definitevely is on my list of those places that I consider as interesting for longer living. OK, that was yesterday. Then Alicia and Annemiek went off to some place not too far to visit some famous temple town. I wasn't in the mood and decided to stay here. We'll meet up later. So, I got up meditated, did my Yoga practise and had a nice breakfast at "your daily bread" with good coffee and croissant. Then I took it easy and used the internet (booked my flight to Germany for March 2nd) and cycled around Pondicherry eating this and that, sat on the beach and read my book. Then when I was looking for another festival performance I bumbed into Nalini, a girl from Brazil, who's here to visit her mum, who lives in an Ashram nearby. Actually from what I've heard so far that Ashram sounds veryvery interesting. It's still hard to put my finger on it, but altogether it sounds like a smaller version of Osho's. Well, I'm going to visit the Ananda Ashram (it's a Yogaashram that offers excellent TTCs) tomorrow anyways and as the Srivast-Ashram is closeby I'm gonna visit it, too. Nalini is looking for some company for her travels and as she's interested in going roughly into the same direction I offered her to come with us. For now we exchanged numbers and then we'll see. She's a very sweet girl, I think it would be nice to travel with her. What a nice day again. I love Pondicherry so much. It offers so many things that you just don't get in the rest of India. Though I feel like it's also so easy to gain weight here. I'm eating something all day long. And though I'm having the eating coupons for the dining hall I mostly eat other things. The food is just too good to resist and so cheap, too. I mean I can get 3 superdelicious Samosas for 10 Rupees, which is 7-10 Eurocents? Fresh watermelon juice for 15 Rupees, pommegranate juice for 30Rupees, real Capuccino with a real Croissant for 39 Rupees...etc. the list goes on and on and on. Whatever you want to eat, name it and you'll get it! I love yummytown!
Hari Om

Friday 22.01.2010 9pm
Still in Yummytown and still yummy. So, I managed to visit both Ashrams yesterday, which was very interesting, because every single Ashram I've visited so far in India is completely different from the other, and so are Ananda and Srivast. First I went to the Ananda Ashram, which was fortunately in walking distance from the bus stand near Aurobeach. As I found it, I immediately got a very good impression, especially because I liked what it said a t the entrance: "Please enter only if you're happy". I found that very cute and welcoming. Inside I got the chance to meet Shaleela, who is a Check girl currently living at the Ashram. She'd taken the course already and was very knowledgable and friendly. She showed me the whole complex and explained to me where they have which class and with which teacher etc. Actually the Ashram is very beautiful. It has a good size and appears very welcoming. The course sounds extremely interesting as it goes very deep into each subject. Also the group is very small, as there are always only between 8 and 15 participants per course. OK, now to the "buts". It is relatively expensive. First one has to do a sort of preparatory course, where you buy a book and answer questions. The answers are send via email to Ammaji and get discussed. This takes about 3 to 4 months and costs already 600 euros! Then you can start the actual course, which is another 4000 euros. So, it comes down to about 1000 dollars for each month, which I find quite a lot. Or maybe it's actually not too much? I mean my course was 750 and we were 45 people in our batch and there we're about 10 and have a single room each. Well, I don't know, what I know is that it's a lot of money for me at the moment. It was good that I went though, as it gave me a good idea about the course. So, after that I took a rikshaw to the Srivast Ashram, which turned out to be so different. Man, that Ashram is so fancy! It's more like a resort or spa. The buildings are big and very beautiful and everything is arranged in a very nice way. But: It's so expensive! they charge you 1200 Rupees per day if you stay in a dorm. I can't afford that now, so I didn't stay. After that I went back to Pondy and did some shopping, got some shirts and books. Yesterday was Thursday, which means that the group meditation took place in the Playground instead of the Samadhi and I was really looking forward to it. But when I wanted to enter it turned out that my Lodging Pass was expired (the hotel guy forgot to extend it) and the man at the entrance refused to let me in. He was actually very rude, too and it totally ruined my evening. That situation was very crucial for me, as I had to realize how much it happened to affect me. I was angry and also surprised that it this could make so angry and that made me more angry. And eventhough I was aware of myself being so reactive I couldn't help it. It took me about an hour or two to get down again. Wow, that didn't happen to me in a very long time, that something had such a strong impact on my feelings. But today I thought about it again and then I wondered: Who did I think I am? I shouldn't have taken myself so seriously or better to say: I shouldn't have tried to react with such an aversion against my angry feelings. Because instead of judging myself and not accepting what is I didn't allow the moment to unfold naturally and so I missed the chance of simply observing the situation. I think I might have also been a little blinded by the beautiful time I've spent before, which led me to a sort of craving for more. I probably needed this little thing to happen, as it was a very helpful little reminder of anicca, the law of nature, which is change! A good lesson:) So far for yesterday.
Today I got up a little earlier than the days before, which was really nice. I've been kind of sleepy the last mornings and couldn't really tell why. Anyways, so I managed to get up at 6, meditated half an hour, did a short Yoga practice and went off for breakfast. I really love to take my meals at the dining hall. Though the food is very very simple it has a fantastic energy and the hall itself, which is an old colonial building, is just so beautiful. After that I quickly packed my stuff and moved to this other guesthouse. Here I decided to spend my last day at the beach and so I spontaneously packed my bikini and left for the bus. The journey in the bus was again very, let's say, intense. It's just so crowded that breathing becomes a challenge, but however I reached my destination, which was Aurobeach. There I hung out for a while and then I had an awesome lunch at Repos (that's the beach restaurant, which is part of Auroville). At Repos I met Masha, who is a lovely Russian woman. She also is into Vipassana and just spent 1 month in Pondy to study Aurobindo's Integral Yoga. We spent the rest of the day together at the beach, enjoying the sun and the ocean and talking about meditation, Yoga and why nobody likes Russians and Germans. I'm being really blessed that I'm lately meeting so many wonderful people here. This place, and here I'm meaning the whole area of Pondy/Auroville, is one of my favourites if not my favourite in Inida. It's so full of potential, opportunities, so full of life! I gotta come back. Soon!
Hari Om
P.S. Nalini decided to join us and so I'm going to Trichy tomorrow where I meet the girls and Nalini. From there we're going to Kodai.

Sunday 24.01.2010 9.30pm
Yes, on the road again. I left Pondicherry yesterday and went staright to Trichy, where I met Alicia and Annemiek in the late afternoon. Today in the morning we went to visit some temples around Trichy and then I met up with Nalini at the hotel. From there we took the bus to Tajune (or something like that?). Alicia suggested to go there to check out some more temples and so I said OK why not. In fact the temple is really nice from what I've seen so far. Tomorrow we have a long day: First we gonna visit the palace and then we'll go to Kodaikanal over Trichy, which means at least 8 hours bus ride plus waiting time at the different stations. It's interesting to see how different it is to travel in a group again. When you're alone or max with one other person everything happens much quicker and smoother. Now you gotta check if really everybody is coming and happy with the restaurant, the room, the timing etc.
I think it's time for me to do some vaman or some other technique to reduce my pitta a bit, as it's getting a little to strong. My patience is getting less and my anger stronger; I can especially feel that when I'm waiting for somebody. It makes me crazy and I know it shoulnd't, because it's nobody's fault. Anyways, now I'm sharing with Nalini a room and it's OK. I'm realising how much I like to do things my way and how much I'm used to it. But adjustement and change are good not to get stuck and to stay open and flexible, so I'm trying my best. I just had a late dinner and it feels aweful in my belly-so filthy and full. Actually I'm looking forward to have some healthy food again at Karuna farms. There everything is organic and veg. The last days I was eating a lot of not really yogic stuff and I feel how it's effecting me.
Hari Om