Tuesday, December 8th 09. 7.30pm
I'm so full still! We had an awesome super-Thali for lunch with at least 10 different items. The waiters were waering little turbans and the whole place was kind of tacky, but delicious though. So, it worked out. We all got on that very fancy transporter/bus-thingy in the morning with our private driver who drove us to Aurangabat. It's so weired, cause everything is organized by Tammy and nobody has to worry about anything, which is cool on the one hand, but strange, too, as I'm not used it at all. Neither to letting go all the control, nor the travelling-style, which is much more luxurious than what I'm used to. But I decided to jusst fully enjoy these 3 days together now as much as possible and to be easy about whatever we gonna do. So far it really works. We had a lot of fun today actually. We went to the "Mini-Tajmahal". I forgot the aactual name of it but it's really built after the Taj and is just a little smaller. So beautiful. Our hotel is kinda nice, too. I'm sharing my room with Janette and Erika. Tomorrow at 5.30am we're heading to Ellora, hopefully early enough to see the sunrise there and to do some Yoga. Wow, this is gonna be my first night out of the Ashram since one month.
Hari Om
P.S. I'm not sure if going to the Osho Ashram is the wisest choice now, moneywise...
Wednesday December 9th. 10pm
So, today was sightseeing at the Ellora caves and what can I say? I'm just speechless! That place is just unbelievable - so amazing! I mean all these massive caves are carved! out of a huge mountain. By hand, by thousands of workers! I think these caves should be considered as a world wonder, they deserve it. We did some chanting in some of them and the accoustic was so gorgeous, too. I think the whole day was alltogether just so wonderful. I spent most of the time with Stefan and Jonette, which was a pretty awesome combination. Very relaxed and balanced and all of us love chai and food, which very important! What's will happen tomorrow is not really clear to me yet. I kind of cancelled Osho, because of money and I'm leaning towards Omkareshwa. Though I just heard that not too far there's a tiger reservoir where it's a 99,9% chance to see tigers from the back of an elephant, which is really not the worst thing to do in the world. Well, I gotta talk to Stefan as I'll be travelling with him I think.
Hari Om
P.S. Short, but fun yoga moves at the caves today+Scorpion.
Friday 11.12.09
What a beautiful start into this day. After very busy night (we ended up fighting some really aggressive mosquitos) we finally got onto the bus to Omkareshwa at 8am. Half an hour later we arrived and after various conversations about delicious dishes we had an even better breakf(e)ast. Finally finally finally some good food in a clean and nice environment. We ate at the Ganesha guesthouse with a beautiful view on the river and some unyogic treats: I had a cheese paratha&an aloo paratha +2 chais and a huge Nutella-Banana-Pancake for dessert. Yummy! Then we went to the Anandamaji Ashram, which was really easy to find as everybody here knows it. We spent the rest of the day with first relaxing and then walking around the island. Yeah, we're on an Omkar shaped island. That's why it's called "Omkareshwa"! On our walk we met various Babas who friendly greated us and ivited us for tea and hash. We stayed with a group of three of them and ended up chanting and staying for much longer than we thought. I even almost tried some of their ganja (it's so tempting, as everybody is smoking it here and looks so relaxed), but I resisted. It was a beautiful experience though to hang out with these guys. Then the dinner at the Ashram was another intersting happening as opposed to our former Ahsram here everybody chants before eating. We all sit on the floor and the boys walk around and serve the food, which is awesome, but also tempting to eat too much;) The chappatis are just sooo tasty. Yum!
Hari Om
Saturday 12.12.09 8.30pm
My whole body is itching like crazy! It all started during our journey from Aurangabad to Khanwa when I sat in the train station onn the dirty floor some nasty bugs ate my feet alive. And I really hope that I didn't get any bed bugs again. Since a couple of hours my entire scalp is itching and I'm scratching everything incessantly. I really really hope I don't have any (Laeuse) head-bugs (?). I hate them so much and it seems like everybody in town has them as they all check on each others head all day long. At least my cold or whatever it is is slowly getting better, finally. I still feveresh sometimes and not 100% cured, but I can see an improvement.
Last night was our first night here at the Anandamaji Ashram and today we had our first full day here. It's a very colorfull place here and I don't mean only the paintings and murals. Everybody shines brightly at this Ashram. We live here with several (30?esh) little boys who go to the atached school, which makes the whole stay very special. The children are very friendly and just beautiful. Every morning at 5 am and every evening at 7pm the two Gurus, several Karma Yogis and the kids hold a 2 hours long Puja, with a lot of singing, incents and dancing. We have our meals together with everybody else at 7am, 11.30am and 6.30pm. The food is similar to the Ashram food at Yoga Vidya, maybe a bit spicier and even simpler. Today Stefan and me did some Seva (same as Karma Yoga/selfless service) in the kitchen, where we helped to chop veggies for lunch and even had the chance to prepare some Chappatis, which was great fun. Now I finally learned the "secret" about good Chappatis: You gotta put them first on a pan for 2 minutes and then into the open flame until they blow up with air. I didn't know about the second step before and that's why my chappatis were always so hard;) After lunch we went for walk again and climbed up another Shiva temple and went to over the bridge into town. There we had the chance to meet two Sikhs who invited us into their temple. It was funny, because they gave us two headscraves, which just looked so ridiculous on us. But then it was really nice, as they gave us a guided meditation and a little private concert. Then in the very moment when we thought OK now they want money from us, cause one priest opened a metal box, he grabbed some sweets and thanked us before he offered us some chai. That was an awesome experience. Actually I must say that Omkareshwa is already one of favourite places so far in India: The energy here is just overwhelmingly positive. Everybody greets you with a warm Hari Om and a smile, you get invited for chai wherever you go and the surroundings are just gorgeous! This morning I did some Asanas on one of the beautiful huge balconies of the Ashram with a view on the river when the sun rose. During my practice the Puja was going on. Most of the people I meet here just wanted to stay for some days and some of them ended up staying several months or never left. I can see that. I'm so glad that Robert told me about this place and that I decided to come here instead of Osho. At least for now this is the right decision. I just started reading the little booklet they have here about Sri Ma Anandamaji and she seemed to be an amazing women. I'll try to get some sleep.
Hari Om
Sunday Dec. 13th 09.9.30pm
What a beautiful day this was! Full of joy.
After I dropped my toothbrush into the toilet this morning (which was stuck and full of sh...) I wasn't quite sure about the rest of the day, but then it got immediately better. I got up earlyesh again at 5.45am and had an hour of Asanas again, which was really great. I was very awake and focused. Then after a delicious breakfast (sweet Semolina and chai) we helped to prepare the Pulao for lunch, which we would have somewhere else...Today is Sunday and Sundays apparently are excursion superfun days: Swami Gurunanda's brother and his family came over, too and we all took two boats from the private Ashram platform and went on our trip. So, about 30 young kids, two Swamis, a handfull Karma Yogis and a handfull whiteys got together on this Ashram-tour. We stopped, I think at three or four different Ashrams. One was more beautiful than the other and so different! The last one was run by an Austrian Baba who lives here since 30 years and who looks a little bit like a blond version of Bob Marley. He just got his Indian citizenship and was so happy about it. After our journey Stefan and me went for chai and biscuits at one of those amazing little chai shoppes close by, which are chai shoppe, living room, kitchen, garage and bedroom in one. So cool! In the afternoon we did some Asanas together with Damian who is another Yoga-teacher here from Buenos Aires. It's so much fun to exchange experiences and energies with people from different Yoga backgrounds. This Ashram is just such a find. I'm here now for only 2 days and I feel already like home, because everybody makes you feel like home. I can totally imagine to come back again.
Hari Om
P.S. After we fed some of the monkeys here I got attacked by one of them and I got almost bitten. I could save myself in the last second! My head is still itching a bit, though it's a bit better. I hope it'll be gone by tomorrow.
Monday 9.30pm 14.12.2009
I just came back up from the nightly Puja, which went on for really long today. The Pujas here are really powerful: All the dancing, singing, jumping and smiling make me so happy. This place is magical and eventhough I totally know that things change every day and every moment I caan say that at least now in this moment I could imagine to stay here for very very long. And I mean very long, like maybe a year or so. This place has such a high potential: For example alternative recycling projects, solar oven, teaching English etc. I could imagine many many things to do here besides practising Yoga.
Today I talked a bit more to Narajanee one of the other Yoga teachers and I think she really knows a lot. She's also a spiritual singer and she writes her own chants as well. I like her a lot and it was interesting to chat with her. Maybe I can learn from her. Tomorrow our Spanish crew is leaving, which is sad. I really got used to these sweet people. Damian, one of them, gave us an Ashtanga lesson today. It was a really nice class, but I had to find out that Ashtanga is really not for me. It's just too hardcore. I prefer my Hatha:) Tomorrow we said we wanna stay the whole day at the Ashram for reading, swimming, meditating, which means no chai in town. We'll see...
Hari Om
9.20pm Tuesday December 15th 09
What an intense Puja! I can still feel it in my whole system. I don't know if it was only me who experienced it so strongly tonight, but it was very powerful. The drumming became even faster, louder and wilder than it already usually gets and the vibration got incredible. I grabed a percussion instrument from one of the smaller kids, who fell into sleep, which made me even wilder.
Besides that this was a very nice, quiet and peaceful day. I got up early as usual did my Yogasanas and helped in the kitchen, which was pretty long today. Stefan and me had to peel and chop a gigantic pumpkin, which took us about two hours. Afterwards we went for a quick dip in the river - fully dressed, of course. After a very nice lunch I decided to have a little siesta before I went for a chai with Magali, one of our new guests here. I gave her a Yogasana class and it turned out to be very challenging: First of all because of the mosquitos and secondly, because Magali had really a hard time not to talk continously. That was a bit irritating, but also a good challenge. Later I had a very nice talk to Swamiji and he told me that he likes talking to me and that he can see my sincerity, also about Yoga. That meant a lot to me, because I really respect that man a lot and that coming from him is very nice to hear. I think I can learn a lot from him. Tomorrow morning I'm going with him and some other people around the island to do the pilgrimmige walk. I'm really looking forward to it, as he knows a lot of people here, which gives you another perspective than just passing by.
Hari Om
8.30 pm Wednnesday 16.12.09
Everyday is so different; also regarding health issues. So, I think that I don't have lices, eventhough my head keeps itching, but not enough to have lices. Instead I have strange bites all over my legs, really so many! They look like mosquito bites, but they're on my thighs, which is weired, because I'm wearing long pants at all times. means, these little monsters either bite through them or it's something else. In any case, I hate it whatever it is! Then my nose piercing got infected very badly, too, today. I don't have any mirrors here to check on my nose, but I could feel that something is going wrong there. And when Magali asked me if I have a scar in my nose I checked and had to find out that I have a huge ball filled with all yummy infected yellow stuff and blood. I had to open it and desinfect it, which was really not the funnest thing I've done since I'm here.
I really do love India so much, but sometimes I really feel like my body is slowly giving up on this country. At the moment everything just feels superitchy and grosse.
OK, speaking about nice things now: We went to do the pilgrim round with Swamiji, the Indian Brahmen-family and Magali+Stefan. It was really great, because Swamiji knows almost every single Baba on the island and many little stories about places and people. We ended up visiting loads of temples and drinking loads of chai. We even made it to the old, actually very old, Saint, which was awesome. I got blessed by him. The whole thing took us over 5 hours and the last hour was really challenging, as I had to go to the bathroom so badly ( no bathroom anywhere) and to eat, of course. Well, people who know me a bit, know what happens to me if I don't get my meals in time...I get really upset! But, yeah, of course, I controlled myself and kept quiet, but it was a hard job. Especially when they decided to enter the big Shiva Temple, which was so overcrowded (today is a special Hindu holiday). Fortunately Swamiji knew some people who let us in from a side door and we skipped hundreds of people. Inside the temple we got squeezed together like in one of those "modern" slaughterhouses. Frankly, I couldn't see/feel any spirituality in there. It was just too many desperate people.
Today the Baba of our Ashram arrived, who we just missed when we came back. But he's gonna stay for some time, so I assume that I'll make it to meet him before I leave here. Honestly after that round today I felt a little overkill of Hindustuff and that's also why I didn't go to the Arti (singing pooja) tonight. On the one hand I feel a bit guilty not to go as Baba is there and it's a big deal, so everybody went. But I feel some unreleased anger in me and I don't want to be around too many people in this state of mind, which is better for both sides I guess.
Oh, another interesting thing I saw today was a naked Yogi in the rocks. Swamiji told us that this man lives in the rocks since many years in a deep meditative state and that he since ever refuses to wear clothes. He used to have a little family, before he left them to become a Yogi. India is really amazing - I would reckon that it is the only country in the world, where you can have these people living in the society without being judged or put away into mental health hospitals. It's also so interesting to see the different perspective/approach to mental health or sanity in general here. It's great and it makes me feel very very "normal", which is very very weired for me. Me always being the weirdo usually. But here, no problem: I want to do some Neti (nasal cleansing with salt water) in the morning? I just ask Santosh, our chef here, for some warm salt water and do it on the porch. Everybody passes by and just greets me with a friendly "Jeema/Hari Om:", while I let the water flow from one nostril in the other. And no one even bothers to wonder about it. Feels like home:) I can't believe that I'm gonna leave already in a couple of days. And I'm also getting a very vague idea of what the Vipassana will be like...because I'm sitting here a lot, too and it's been torture for my knees already. So, I'm really wondering or let's say expecting it to be, at least physically, hell! Tomorrow Stefan and me are going to do the pilgim tour very early in the morning to see the sunrise on one of the temples hopefully. That's gonna be special! I feel like there are so many beautiful things to do here in Omkareshwa that it's really hard to get bored at all. Omkareshwa actually reminds me, at least in terms of vibe/energy a lot of San Marcos de la Laguna. And that means a lot!
Hari Om
10.30 pm Thursday 17.12.09
Today we left the Ashram very early in the morning to watch the sunrise on top of the old temple on the other side of the island. There we did some Yoga and meditation and eventhough it was pretty cloudy I enjoyed it so much. Then we had a quite big breakfast at the Ganesh where we spent another big part of the day chatting with a nice Israeli couple, while it was pouring outside. Back at the Ashram I gave Stafen a Yoga class and a nice massage afterwards. I really enjoyed giving the class today, it felt very energizing. After the Arti, Magali gave a little fireshow for everybody and I finally got to meet our Baba. It was a bit odd to me or at least I wasn't used to it, but when he descended the stairway with the help of a small boy everybody went down on their knees and surrendered in front of him. Because everybody was doing it, I did the same, of course. After the show he asked for Magali's name and left again. He seems to be a friendly old man and I wonder if it makes sense to talk to him before I leave. Tomorrow morning we gonna try to do the round again, but this time for real. Today we got stuck at the Ganesh, which was not planned. Today during the Arti, when we were meditating, I had my first serious doubts about the Vipassana. I tried t overcome my pain and just stay in my sitting position without moving, but it was just impossible! The pain was too strong. I really wonder if I'm ready for Vipassana. I guess I will find out soon. All the train tickets to Igatpuri are booked out by the way, so I was suggested to just go to the train station and ask for the so-called emergency tickets. I hope they exist...
Hari Om
9.30pm Friday 19th
I really hope that this is just a bad day, but I feel like I'm getting sick again. A few people here are having a cold already and I felt really fatigue and sore and weired today. Maybe it'll be gone by tomorrow. So, other than that it was a nice little day again. We didn't do the round in the morning, because I didn't feel in the right shape for it. So, we stayed and I did my daily Yoga practice here. In the afternon I went with Magali and Stefan for a walk to an abandoned place at the river where it's possible to swim without clothing. The others did, but eventually I felt to weak. That's OK, it was a very peaceful and beautiful spot anyways and I could do some good relaxation. Of course, on our way we stopped for chai twice. I'm really having too much sugar the last days. All those biscuits and the chai is being a bit over actually. But it's so tempting as the chai shops are really everywhere! And it's so cheap (5 rupees) and so convenient. I gotta be more careful and I also feel that I could definitively need a bit of fasting, but especially here I'm having a hard time to resist all the yummyness. Tomorrow morning Stefan and me are planning to do some vaman again. The month is nearly over since we're practiced last time and I wanna get myself used to it a little bit more. Wow, it's only one more day for me here. I can't believe how time is running. Frankly, I'm not sure anymore if I really want to go to the Vipassana. I'm really wondering if it's a smart thing to do right now, regarding my health condition. I mean tonight at the arti I had to move to the wall, because sitting became just unbearably painfull. And the tough thing is, as so often, to make the right decision. Soon! I spoke with Narayanee today about this and that and I'm getting such a strong energy from her. I think she has something in her, something really truthful and powerful. So, I guess tomorrow I have to decide about my next step and I hope that I'll get some help with my decision.
Hari Om
P.S. I got a nice colorful thingi into my hair from Magali. I like it a lot.
10.55pm Friday 19.12.09
How fun was that!? Wow, yay:) I just came back from our downstairs temple where we had our daily satsang session with Babaji and it was the first time that I attained it. So, first I was a bit or frankly very sceptikal, because when babaji came out of his room again everybody (including me) threw him/herself on the floor when he passed. To me, because so unfamiliar and bizarr, I had to really hold myself not to outburst in loud laughing as it reminded me on those oldfashioned fairytale movies that they show on Christmas, where the folks come to see the king and they have to bow down and stuff. Anyways, he is a very old man who walks with a stick has a long white beard and is quite the appearance. He looks very serious actually. Then we had to wait for 15 minutes until he called everybody to come up as well. There we gathered in a little tiny room on the floor and Babaji sat on a bench. After Swamiji played the harmonioum and sang it was everynody's turn to sing and everyone did very well. Not expecting that Babaji would only think of asking me, he suddenly points at me and orders me to sing! I was shocked, a bit honoured too, but mainly speechless. Everybody kept whispering to me that I should sing now, cause he asked me to and I got really nervous, cause I really wanted to but didn't have my lyrics for my favourite chant. Then Naryani started one and I jumped up and ran to my room to get the lyrics. Back down I was ready: It was so funny! I wanted to sing a glorious Kirtan and pictured a very crazy crowd singing, dancing and drumming...instead my Sanskrit pronounciation was so unclear that nobody understood and the response was a weired sounding mumbling mix and I was so excited by what I was doing that I couldn't handle singing, reading the lyrics, clapping and smiling, which resulted in just singing some fantasy-words that don't exist in any language. Anyways, it was great fun and everybody was smiling, which is most important! Then some of the boys sang and Babaji asked me to dance-so cool! After the Satsang, on his way out he lifted his stick, pointed at me and said:"You better prepare a song again for tomorrow. Such a wonderful voice." I had to laugh, because I knew what he meant. This man is so awesome and so funny, too. What a great evening. Oh, I booked my train ticket today. I let the fate make the decision for me and so when I checked the train and there was only 1 (!) seat left for the next 5 days or so, out of numerous trains I took it. So, I'm leaving here Monday morning for Igatpuri. After that we'll see.
There's a young Swami here since a few days. He arrived with Babaji and he originally from Israel and lives since 2001 in the Ashram. I tried to ignore it, but I find him really hot! I thought I'm not interested in men or I hoped not to, so that i could focus more on my spiritual practice, but apparently these temptations can't be switched off that easily. He has just such a amazing positive energy that it blows me away. I wonder if he's allowed to be friendly with women. I mean that's the thing: I don't know how to approach him, cause I don't want to act inapproriately. It was the same when I was asked to dance tonight and I suddenly realized that I'm dancing mainly with my hips and butt as I'm used to doing it from tunisia when we play drums. But here I'm in an Ashram and I wasn't sure if that was too sexual already. Hm, very confusing these things. I wanna have a Swami-boyfriend! Then we can play that I'm Kali his goddess and he's Shiva my Guru. How great is that?! OK, I think I had too much adrenalin tonite;) brain is going mad...
Hari Om
6.20pm, Monday 21st December 09
OKOKOK. calm down Sarah!
I finally mage it to the Vipassana centre and these wll probably be my "last lines"...at least before January 1st;) (in case I don't cheat!)
So, yesterday was my last day at the Anandamaji-Ashram and again it was a blast. Nothing really special just a rlexaed balanced day. I taught a Yoga class to my French neighbours, a couple from Montpellier who run a Yoga Hostael there. Very sweet people and they liked my class a lot. They said it felt like I'm doing it since forever. What a nice compliment, especially coming from two experienced Yoga teachers. Yesterday night we hung out again with Baba and it was very intense again. this man has such an aura and I'm seriously thinking about going back there after this, just be around him. Narayani told me that he is realized/enlightened and that he can read one's mind! Wow.
I gotta hurry up in a few minutes the opening programm starts. So, we left very early in the morning and we were lucky because they arranged a boat for us which brang us to the other side. Oh gosh, I'm missing all the Ashram people already, they're just so sweet. Then we took a bus to Khandwa, did some errands had numerous chais and a nice goodbye. The strange thing was only that I missed my train:( BUT, thanks to the universal power I got "accidentially" on another train, which also went to Igatpuri, which I didn't know though. It's a long story with a lot of confusion, but in the end I can only say that everything went on well, eventhough I didn't have a seat (an Indian family gave me theirs) and no ticket (again the family helped me out and tricked out the train staff). So, friendly! It turned out that I arrived in Igatpuri even earlier than with the "right" train. But I was late anyways, because I misinterpreted the confirmation mail, which asked me to be here before 2pm and I thought not before 2pm. Anyhow, I'm here and I have my own rom with an attached bathroom, which is way more luxury than I thought! There are over 600 people here and it's a huge beautiful complex with a very good organization, so far. I even got some numbers that I can attach to my laundry and then it'll be washed in one day. I'm very very excited and nervous about the whole thing to be honest. But I'm gonna try to stay as open and non-judgemental as possible. Alright, I have to leave...
Hari Om
5.30pm Tuesday 22.12.09
I know, I know. I'm totatally not allowed to do this, but I don't care. It's just too tempting and I don't think that writing a couple of lines will be that bad for my practice here. So, today was the first real day, or better to say it still is. And I already had my ups and downs man, holy cow! The day starts at 4am, then we have 2 hours group meditation in the big hall and 6.30-7.15 am breakfast. After that there's some 45 minutes for taking a shower and stuff, before we meet at the hall again for 1 hour of group meditation and from 9-11 individual meditation in the own room. I have to admit that I did some Yoga during that time to loosen my muscles a bit. But hey, they said to us "don't stop taking your medicine during your stay" and Yoga is definitevely my medicine in many aspects. At 11am we got lunch, which was amazingly delicious, then 1hour rest and at 2pm meditation in the hall until 5pm. After that they give us tea and a snack, which constists of one banana and some rice chips. That's really not much, but I guess it's supposed to be better for the practice.
Actually I'm very lucky, because I could manage to get a "chouwki", which is a little mini-chair, because of my injury. So, now I'm sitting on that chouwki together with many old Indian women;) Eventhough I have that chair, my butt is already sore and so are my legs and my mind, too, by the way. I mean, I don't wanna make it sound like hell, it's really not too bad, but it's damn f... hard! What I actually didn't expect is that I'm really having a hard time to stay awake during the practice. I almost always find myself nodding off when my head suddenly falls down. And also, I immediately have absolutely strange and wild dreams or pictures in my head, almost like in a druggy trip. I'm one of a few foreigners here and the fact that all the Indian ladies here are dressed very similarly, then the gender segregation and the silence and the staring make the whole situation here even more odd and it reminds a bit on jail, I must say. Especially when we get the food. Wow, hundreds of women are lined up, some of them really pushy and then there not really enough chairs and the standing party keeps staring at you while you try to shuffle the food into your mouth as fast as possible. Actually that's not true. Frankly I'm taking my time. Maybe it's selfish, but I don't like rushing. OK, to be honest at the moment I 'm pretty fed up already and I keep asking myself why the heck I came here;) But hey, I knew that this would happen, so I just try to get over it. "Just"...
Hari Om
P.S.: I think my computer is breaking down already. It makes funny noises and takes ages to get ready.
31.12.09 which day? no idea! 4pm
Today was/is the last day of our course here and we are allowed to talk again. There are so many things to write about. Too many things. For now i want to remain a bit more inside, before I allow these things to come out. But so much I can say: I'm very very happy, thankful and full of love. I'm so blessed.
Hari Om
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