Sunday, February 14, 2010

Friday, January 30th 2010 5.50pm
So, we're at Karuna in the green lush mountain jungle. We're staying in cute little huts with attached kitchen outside. Electricity comes from a solarpanel and water from the river nearby. When you sit on the little porch you have an amazing view facing a huge cliff and beautiful birds and monkeys passing by. That's where I had two of my Yogasana practices, which were both pretty nice as the energy is very strong here. The other two times I practised together with the girls on the kitchen porch next to a gorgeous waterfall. It was nice, especially because once it was Alicia who taught a Sivananda class and then Annemiek who gave a Kundalini class. Both were very different and actually pretty tough, I found. Yesterday, we went into town and did some shopping, coffee drinking, chocolate eating and internet. Yeah, we're in a coffee and choocolate area here and they make all the chocolate locally. They even had a sort of chocolate fountain at one place, where they serve you a cup of melted extraterrestrial yummy chocolate! Oh gosh, it tasted like heaven! The days before we hiked around in the area and today we decided to just stay here nad hang out and relax, read, sunbath and enjoy the nature. Oh, Shuli and yahan are here, too, so we happened to spend some time with them, also. One of the greatest things for me here is definitively having a kitchen. We already had some delicious meals here, like beetroot-carrot salat, mungdaal with chickpeas, aloo gobi, green beans, vegetable kitchery, coconut curry and much more. It's so nice to be able to cook whatever you want and whenever you want. I forgot how much I love cooking:) Altogether this trip, meaning Kodaikanal, is really awesome so far. I really like this area a lot. It's so quiet and peaceful, then the climate is also very agradable and especially now that we learned how to make a perfect fire in our little oven for the night it's so cozy. Also being together here with Alicia, Nalini and Shuli and Yahan is a lot of fun. Everybody gets along very well and it's very harmonious. Somehow it's a shame that we're leaving tomorrow, but I'm also looking forward to our next destinations, which are: First Madurai, where we'll stay just for half a day to see the big temple, before we take the overnight train to Kollam to go to Amma's Ashram. Wow, I just realised that I have only one more month here in India. It's a strange thought, as I'm here since quite a long time now and it's starting to feel homey here. On the other hand I can also feel a slight feeling of happiness when I think of what is waiting. It's a funny mix of excitement and a bit of fear, of course. Sometimes I think of me being in Tunisia without really having a "real" job, or security or so and then I get scared and worried. But I want to take that risk. I feel like it's time for me to try if my ideas of working independently is gonna be fruitful or not. But that's in a month, now I'm still here, so I shouldn't worry about things that are still far away. Actually Alicia is thinking of joining me as a business partner there. I kind of like the idea, as I was looking for a second person anyways.
Hari Om


Sunday 31st January 2010 4pmesh
We just arrived at Amritapuri (Amma's Ashram) about 3 hours ago. After a stop in Madurai we took the overnight train from there to Kollam. Madurai is totally awesome by the way. Unfortunately the temples were all closed, becuase of a Shiva festival, but we went to that festival, which took place at the tank. There was another temple in the middle of the temple on an island and on the water another temple, which was boat actually and going in circles. It was totally crowded and everybody would try to run in the same direction the temple-boat would go. As it was dark all the colorful lights would shine even more and the firework made it even more crazy. In the middle of the people there were varios elephants, food stalls and small ferris wheels, which were run manually, but very fast. It was funny, because I thought in Germany these things would never even be allowed. We took a bike-rikshaw and our driver came with us and showed us around, which was nice and a bit strange, too, as he took as by the hand and we felt a little like his children. Then he taught us not to talk to anybody, as it's bad. Well, that didn't help me to avoid to get grabbed at my boobes once again, but ths time I saw who it was and I could react on it. So, I automatically turned around and slamed my fist on the man's back. I immediately felt very irritated by my action and he also looked kinda surprised, but there was no more time to think about it as we immediately continued running through or with the crowd. Then we met Alicia at the train station just in time to get on the right coach, get our berths and sleep. It was a very pleasant train ride; actually the best one I've had since I'm here, I think. Not too many people, no noise and a nice temperature. Though I caught a little cold from the fan. then after a local breakfast - we had "appam", which is something like riceflour-pancakes - we took two buses to the Ashram. Wow, the Ashram is quite the thing! First of all it's in the middle of the Keralan backwaters, located in the midst of a lush jungle area, surounded by loads and loads of water. Behind us we have the sweet water canals and in front of us we see the Arabian sea. The Ashram buildings are very different to anything I've seen so far: They're all pink! And most of them pretty high, almost like little skyscrapers; maybe comparable to the old "Plattenbauten" in east Berlin. It has a slight ghetto-vibe, but not too much to feel uncomfortable. No, on the contrary. I actually felt very welcomed by all the devotees who work here. Everybody is very friendly and eventhough everything is very well organised there's some chilled flexible atmosphere around. Then there are so many interesting activities that you can take part in: From Yoga, over Ayurvedic cooking, meditation, healing, panchakarma etc. They also make their own ecological toiletries here including organic washing powder and so on. Besides that it's very affordable, as you pay 150 rupees per day, which includes 3 Indian style meals and you accomodation. There's also a western cantine, where you can get anything from soy-capuccino to vegan chocolate cake for little money. They even have a pool here. At five we'll have an Ashram tour, where they'll show us around a bit. After that we'll have our first Darshan, which means our first hug by Amma. Yay! I've already seen her after lunch, as she's giving Darshan through the whole day next to the dining area. There are people continously waiting to get the famous hug and Amma doesn't get tired of hugging hugging hugging. Her schedule is toatally crazy. When she's not her, she's touring the world. I'm so excited how it'll be to get her Darshan...
Hari Om


Thurday 04.01.2010 12.30pm
So, now after being here for some days I got a quite different view about this place here; actually all of us (us means here all those people I've met here and who I'm spending my time with here at the Ashram). Well, it's still kinda nice and interesting, no question, but I also had to find out that I'm definitively no Bhakti Yogi! All this partly blind devotion towards Amma here is just too much for me. Yesterday, I went to get another Darshan and this time I saw so much greed in people's faces, so much ego. Everybody kept pushing and pulling on others just to have a better view on Amma. Then her closest devotees who work with her on stage and who are there to push you in her arms and out of her arms are so not compassionate at all. And whatever conversation you randomly catch on your way it's always about what Amma said or did etc. It goes too far. People here - and with people I mean all those ones who are her devotees - totally lost themselves and their lives. And the other thing that I find even more annoying is that behind all this devotion there's no action! How can you devote yourself to somebody like Amma who stands for pure love and compassion if you yourself don't live it at all. Because during our Sevas, where we have to work with the devotees we all had some bad experiences, where people where either very bossy, moody, arrogant or so. I really like Amma and I think she's indeed enlightened, otherwise all these things she;s done so far would never've been possible. But I don;t like the people around her - it's become dogmatic, judgmental and fanatic. Nalini and me are taking the "Integrated Amrita Medtitation" course, which is supposed to be designed by Amma herself. Eventhough I knew that I would stick to my Vipassana-practice I was curious, so I signed up. Yesterday we studied the technique the whole day and today we continued. It's mainly what I expected it to be actually: A wild mix of some ancient Yogic techniques compressed in a 25 minutes session. It includes everything from some sort of Asanas, Pranayam, Trataka and Visualisation. Well, due to the fact that I don't feel very well today, I decided to go back to the room and rather rest, as I fell into sleep in the mroning anyways. Plus, I really don't want to practise the technique, either. I think it might be interesting for some people, especially, because there are so many different things going on during this meditation. So , it's ideal for the restless western mind. But it's not for me. Especially the visualizations I don't like at all. Nalini and me are most likely leaving by tomorrow. It just feels like enough for now. I'm geting some sort of Urinal Tract Infection and something else weired is going on in my body. It's hard to describe, but I got some light fever, feel very very tired and some parts feel slightly inflamed or so. I spoke to Zoe yesterday - she did the Vipassana course with me and I met her here, where we talked for the first time - and she once had the same problem like me. She lived here in Inida for one year and the longer she stayed the more ill she got. That's exactly how I would describe it, too. I'm normally almost always in an excellent health condition, but the longer I'm here, the more frequent I get sick. It's almost like my immune system is shutting down. Another girl here, also a Yoga teacher in a good health, felt similarly: Tired, strange random symptoms of stuff and she got a consultation in the Ayurvedic clinic here. They found out that she has Candida and a parasite in her system. I would totally be not surprised if I had something like that. It would explain a lot. If I had more time and more money I would go for a month long Panchakarma retreat to detox my system; it needs it badly! But speaking of money: Ha, I thought that I learned from my mistake in Guatemala last year, where I suddenly ran out of that "green stuff". But, well what can I say...nope. I really hope I'm gonna be fine till the end here and then find a way to really superquickly make some money once I'm on the other side again.
Hari Om

Sunday 07.01.2010 10.30pm
So, Nalini and me left Amma on Friday to go to Varkala for a while to relax on the beach, where we actually are right now. The journey here was pretty chilled and after some painful room searching we finally found some nice accomodation in the calmer area of Varkala. The whole guesthouse seems to be occupied by Germans, which first irritated me a bit, but our neighbours appeared to be pretty friendly dudes. Very helpful and nice so far. The good thing is also that they're here since 5 weeks and it's their 5th time here, so they know about almost everything around here. Yesterday was our first full day here and we mainly used the day to check out the area a bit and of course the beach. Unfortunately I still haven't learned my lesson that having a Tunisan father doesn't make me immune to sunburn during the hottest time of the day without any sunscreen. So, I got pretty burned the very first day at the beach. Good lesson I guess. Today we mainly walked and walked and walked. We tried to find the so-called "swimming pool", which is supposed to be a good ayurvedic clinic here. Herbie, my German neighbour recommended it to me. Unfortunately we had to find out that this place doesn't really exist anymore. The only thing that was still there was a very sad looking sort of swimming pool with brownesh water in it. Nevermind, eventhough it was a long walk in the middle of the heat it was also kinda good to move a little bit. And besides that we accidentially got into a little untouched Keralan village, which was awesome. Everybody was greeting us superfriendly and trying to speak to us. Tomorrow is our last day here, before we head off on Tuesday. Nalini is heading back to Pondy and I'm still indecicive. Well, originally I wanted to go to Sivananda, but my health is being so bad lately that I really don't think I can do any Asanans at the moment. I'm feeling extremely weak, but really extremely, then mucus in my sinusses and stomach ache after very meal I take in. I"m debating to go to a Naturopathic hospital in Hyderabad that was recommended to me by somebody who had really good experiences there. It sounds like the right place to be for me right now as I additionally feel very toxic in terms of blood sugar etc. and there I would be in a total sugar free diet. The only "but" is that Hyderabad is 30 (!) hours train ride away from here...I'll make the right decision I'm sure, until then I'm gonna enjoy my time here as much as possible.
Hari Om
P.S. We went to a Kathakali performance tonight. Quite impressive.

Wednesday 10.02.2010 1.40pm
We left Varkala yesterday and now finally our ways split again. Nalini went on her train to Pondy and I went on my bus to Neyyar Dam to go to the Sivananda Yoga-Ashram, where I am right now. The Ashram is set in a beautiful area surounded by lush jungle vegetation and close to a clean lake. I arrived yesterday afternoon and had a nice smooth start with a sattvic dinner and a nice Satsang in the evening, where we watched a short doc about water by that Japanese researcher who found out that water is sensitive to any kind of energy. Very interesting! After that we chanted various Bhajans, same this morning. It was quite nice. As my health is getting worse every day - I got a herpes blister from the fever - I decided to start gently with the Asana classes and went to the beginners instead of intermediate, which was not too bad, besides that horrible correcting by that assistant teacher. A pretty obese women in her 40s or 50s? came to me from behind during the sun salutations when I was in Cobra (we tuck the toes in they don't do it here) and just pulled me feet back without any warning. I was totally shocked. Then later when we were lying down in Makrasana she again came and tried to put my toes in without articulating anything in advance. This time I told her to leave me alone and she left me irritated. Gosh, I mean it's not that I don't want to adjust to their style here or so. No, on the contrary I am here to learn new things and to do it their way. But how can you "correct' people that way? I mean like that one must always be alert and can never really be in the posture without being scared to get pushed physically in random directions. I don't know why but she really made me mad! Other than that I'm OK. I'm planning on going to Hyderabad if I don't find another ayurvedic clinic in this area, where I can do some serious healing. I'm thinking of leaving around the 14th so that I can spend some 10 days in the clinic there. Today I went to the ayurvedic doctor here, who is a joke by the way. But at least I could get some medicine, which is supposed to keep the fever down and strenghthen my immune system. OK, bell is ringing. I gotta go to the lecture.
Hari Om

Friday 12.02.2010 3.50pm
I'm still here at the Sivananda Ashram and quite enjoying myself. It's just so good to have a regulated schedule with some healthy food and some exercise. And with exercise I'm talking about the Yoga that they teach here. Man, it's so athletic and so not spiritual at all. I mean it's a really good way to get fit and stuff, but to me it's not Yoga. Anyways, I'm still here and it''s hard to leave, too, cause I'm sick of travelling. But I'm alsi still sick meaning being ill. So, I'd better go to Hyderabad to that clinic. Don't know when and how though. We'll see...
Hari Om

Saturday 13.02.2010 09.35pm
So, after a very intense evening due to that Shiva festival I slept very long today - until 7.45am. The festival at the temple was really touristy and posh, but still fun though. Today I went to Trivandrum to see the Ayurvedic doctor and to check out the hospital. OK, I'm having a really hard time focussing right now as everybody is talking around me. So, the doctor was quite good actually and he told me that I shouldn't worry. He gave me some medication and apparently my digestive system is out of balance and that's why I'm so short tempered. He said that my bad health would impact my mind and that's why I feel so tense. I was recommended to stay there for 14 days, but I didn't like the clinic too much. I'm here for now, so let's see.
Hari Om

Monday 15.02.2010 11am
The longer I'm here the more I like it actually. I guess it always takes some time to adjust, especially when you go to Ashrams. Anyways, it's starting to get really awesome and I'm meeting really nice people, too. There's this wonderful girl from Japan, called Aki, who I really get along with very well. And then Christina, a young American mother who lives in south England now and runs two Yoga studios. Aki has her own vegan cafe near Osaka. Many of the women here run their own business and it's so good to talk to them to get some inspiration. Even the Germans that I've met so far were alomst all very nice and relaxed. One of them, Ralph from Duesseldorf, gave me a great tip actually. There's apparently a similar Naturecure clinic like Hyderabad in Cochin, which is just 3,5 hours from here. they offer accomodation, Yoga, massage, full board, mediatation etc. for 400Rupees, which is an amazing deal actually! So, I'm thinking about going there maybe Tuesday, but I'm not 100% sure, yet. I might also just stay longer, depends on how I feel then. Yesterday we went swimming in that beautiful lake across the little road here. There are supposed to be crocodiles and watersnakes in there, but we swam to the other side and back. I'm quite proud of myself. I started to go to the so-called gentle Yoga in the afternoon, which is a mix of Sivananda Yoga and Kundalini Yoga taught by a German woman who lives in Canada.
Hari Om

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