Unfortunately, I can't find a computer here that is able to upload my blog from the last almost 2 weeks. But in short: Life is being very sweet and I'm doing well. I'm gonna try to upload my blog from Igatpuri on Monday afternoon and otherwise next year, which is pretty soon...
I'm getting very nervous about the Vipassana and I already know that it's gonna be one of the most challenging and extrem experiences of my life! I hope I can manage it to get through these ten days without any physical or mental injuries. OK, I gotta go back to Ashram and do my daily Karma Yoga in the kitchen.
Hari Om
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
About releasing on ALL levels...;)
Friday, November 27th 09, 8.40pm
So, yesterday was "vaman"-day or vomiting and it was quite intense. First we had our Asana class as usual and then they told us to come down for vaman. Actually we did not stand in little groups with buckets as I originally thought. Nope. We all gathered at the road, then Prashant gave us a demonstration about how to vomit correctly. So odd! First he drank 6 glasses of warm salted water very quick and then he put his index and middle finger into his throat and puked out the water. It looked very easy. So, I thought alright, no problem. But then when I started drinking the water it was so different. The water tasted horrible, disgusting, so groce! It was so salty and tasted like chlorine. With each sip I got more sick and after one glass I could have vomited already naturally. Then I started crying. I don't know where that came from, but I started crying and couldn't stop. When I think of it now I must have looked quite funny actually: sitting on a road drinking saltwater, watching the others vomiting and crying a river. After 3,5 glasses of water I had enough. Though we were supposed to drink between 6 and 8 glasses I stopped and vomited everything out immediatly. The vomiting itself was not too bad. Some people couldn't get anything out and had to do some special exercises to get the water out naturally from the other side...The whole procedure was very intense and tiring for all of us. Some got even sick from it. For me personally it was very hard and I'm not sure if I'm gonna do it again in the near future.
Today was very hot again, which is unusual as it's becoming winter. Anyways, it's good for the muscles. I had a very good meditation for almost an hour with Karolina before dinner. I could feel an extremely powerful energy in my whole body and mind, which makes me looking forward to the Vipassana. Microlessons are going quite well so far and I'm happy to see how much we're able to learn in just one month. Other than that I'm thinking about going to Hampi after the Vipassana to teach Yoga at the Gazebo where Syriak is teaching Thai massage. He offered it to me when I was there. I think it would be a great oppurtunity to gain some experience and to make at least a little money. Even if I have only a few students per day, it's gonna help.
I'm still not sure what to do between the 8th and 21st. Maybe Gokarna, maybe Omkar, or Elora. I don't know yet...
Hari Om
Saturday 28th November, 9.25pm
Another day is over at the Ashram and it was another hot and awesome day in this universe. Today we had some more time to play with or at least some of us, cause they cancelled the lectures and gave us some extra time to work on our essays, which I finnished already a week ago. So, that gave me some time to play with. First I meditated for one hour and then I went with Robert and Sophie to a lake about half an hour away from the Ashram. It was an awesome walk, especially cause we normally never leave the Ashram besides Wednesadays, so it was a nice change. When we reached the lake there were just some waterbuffalos and theri shepherd, and us of course. We didn't think twice and jumped into the wonderful cold water, fully dressed! Well, due to the fact that we're in rural India and people are very conservative here we had the choice of swimming in clothes or not swimming at all. We chose the first option:) It was so great and refreshing. Then we looked quite weired probably: walking down the road totally soaked while the sun is shining. We were wondering if poeple thought "wow, these white guys must be really sweaty" or so. Today was Guruji's birthday and so the meditation hall, where we all gathered for the regular Saturday night chanting was beautifully colored with powder in patterns everywhere. Then the mantras were quite intense, I could totally dive into it and absorb the whole group energy. I'm thinking about Marty frequently. I just have to remember random situations that experienced together. My heart is still as connected as a week ago. Today when I meditated I purposly tried to concentrate on the pain in my heart to release it and go deep into it. It was very powerful and not easy to handel, but in the same time it helped a lot. Still don't know what to do between this and Vipassana-tonite I was thinking maybe to just go to the Osho Ashram fro that time, though it's very expensive. I'll find out then.
Hari Om
November Sunday 29th 2009 8.40pm
Funny I just tallked to another person here who is located in New York. I think it's been already at leat 4 people in this Ashram who used to live there or are living there at the moment. New York feels more like a country, like an entity on its own than a city.
From now on life's gonna be even more stressfull here, I guess. Tomorrrow we'll have another written assignement and then we have practical exams almost every day. In the final exams we have to hold two full Asana classes. Then in our evening discussion Gandhar gave us a lesson about discipline and awareness. He said that only 60% of us are focused right now and that we have to be more concentrated on the course. Then he made some other indirect general comments about us as group and that we're not as disciplined as former batches and so on. It sounded like we are disappointing or so, which I find pretty unfair if I think about how much we're investing into this course. Other than that everything is going on very well and I'm feeling good. Today I got an ayurvedic oil massage from one of our kitchen ladies, because I hurt my neck from too much Halasana. It was awesome - I love massages! I'm wondering what's gonna happen between Marty and me. It's interesting, when I talk with the people here I still say "my boyfriend" and then I wonder if I can still even say that. I'm getting calmer everyday in general and also about us, though I'm pretty curious about our next phone conversation.
This week they changed our schedule and we gonna be off on Tuesday instead of Wednesday. I don't want to go to Nashik this week, which also means no internet. I'll survive that I guess. But therefore I'll hopefully be able to take a little hike on the Hanuman mountain, where there's a lake on top and plenty of monkeys and a gorgeous view. I'm still wondering about what to do after this. Today I booked a week in the Kevalia Dham, which is another Yoga-Ashram/-hospital. It's good to have options.
Hari Om
P.S.:I was able to hold the Scorpion for almost 10 seconds today:)
Monday, November 30th 2009 8.30
OK, I finally know what I'm gonna do after this:) I'm going to the Osho Ashram with Stefan and maybe Wong. Before that I might go to the Ellora caves with the Ashram group. Now the only complication I see is that Stefan just told me that he's not sure if he wants to travel with Wong. Oh man, what a kindergarden. Anyways, I'm going that's for sure.
Today we had our last microlesson before our exams next week and eventhough I was a bit nervous today I got an awesome feedback which gave me a good encouragement. It's really interesting to see how different the personal experience is to what other people see in you. I felt really shaky and nervous and everybody told me that I was very confident and relaxed. Well, alright then:) I also changed my mind about the city tomorrow and yeah, I'm going to Nashik again. I want to see the doctor and maybe get an x-ray on my left knee and hip to finally find out what the heck is going on in there. The other thing is that an x-ray costs only 3 dollars here, which is another reason to go actually. The assignment today was quite interesting actually, as it was a little more individual. We had to plan Yoga/Pranayam sessions for a stressed executive and for elderly people. Wow, I still can't believe that I'm going to able to teach Yoga after this course. It's so exciting, but also a bit intimmidating when I imagine all these eyes on me expecting me to know everything...but hey, no risk no fun, right?!
Hari Om
Tuesday 1. december 9.50pm
Awesome and aweful in one day. In the morning I had another phone conversation with Marty, which was just very draining for me as it took away any hope for us. But on the other hand it was also very reliefing for me to finally get the point of having a final decision. And during the last days I've already been through the process of working on the thought and living different levels of it. So, of course I felt really sad and hurt - the next 3 hours my whole body was under extrem tension and I could just feel my entire nervous system being very stressed out and also my heartbeat went up a lot. It's so interesting to see how sensitive my system is. I like my system though it is a very aware and reliable system. So, after a while I was able to detache from my feelings and I started to remember that I am not these feelings and that I just have them, which made me able to become the observer. That grounded me a lot. And it allowed my inner core to come through it. The same core that has been talking to me recently more and more often, saying that going my own way is the right decision for now. It's just again, I must say here, so amazing how much I just can rely on it and should more. When I think back to the time that I was in Goa with Sonja this voice already became very powerful and told me already that the relationship has no future, that i'm ment to go my own way, that New York is not my place to be and that there's no reason fro being afraid of it, because my way is leading into a another beautiful direction. That voice was very very loud already, but I was too afraid to listen to it. I tried to ignore it; to bury it under beer and hopes. But I'm not disappointed or anything, if it sounds like it. No. I'm very glad that everything is how it is. I know that this might sound strange, because of course there's still some sort of pain. But I feel like this is the right thing even if now it might still hurt.
In Nashik I went to the doctor to finally finally get a correct diagnoses for my knee and yes I got it. I went to an Orthopedist and then after to a doctor who gives you Sonographie/Ultrasound and it turned out that due to the farmwork and running etc. my ligaments got overused and damaged. So, I have a so-called "runners' knee", which is apparently very rare, especially in my age group. It takes very long to heal and I'm not supposed to do any kind of sports. Yoga is very good though. He also recommended physio therapy and massage. I'm just very glad to know what the problem is, because after so many different diagnoses I got really concerend. After a nice lunch in Nashik I went back early to the Ashram and had an awesome walk with Stefan to Trimbauk (a small holy Indian town here) where we went to a huge temple where different ceremonies were going on. We had a very good talk and it turned out that he also just broke up with his girlfriend and that he was going through different things like me. I think it helped us lot to talk about it and then it turned out that we're totally into the same things! I mean travellingwise, which is rare in my case. Everybody who knows me a bit kinda knows how weired (for most people) my priorities are. But yeah, that's great. He also wants to take a big walking adventure in India and we gonna see where we'll end up. So, far for now. Tomorrow we have a huge exam and everybody here is sleeping alreasy, so I better switch off the light and get some sleep.
Hari Om
Wednesday december 2nd 09 8.40pm
I was so tired today, that was because I couldn't fall into sleep yesterday night, due to full moon and a late chai. Then we had our Parichay Asana exam today. First we had to do Pranayam, Abdominal lock and Neti (nasal cleaning) in the morning and then the Asanas in the afternoon. It was actually alright, nobody was nearly as nervous as the first time and everybody did quite well. Then we got our lesson for the trial session tomorrow. I'm gonna be giving it at 4pm and I picked such a weired mix of Asanas. One of them is Ashwiri Mudra, which is also called Horse Posture and guess what? Not because the posture lookes like horse. No! Because in that posture you have to move your anus like a horse after excretion in and out. And all that you gotta do while being in shoulderstand with bend knees. I don't know if I'll be able to hold my laughs back, but I guess it's nice to have some fun stuff in the lesson, too. So, tomorrow I will hold my first full Yoga lesson and I have mixed feelings about it. Of course it is cool to finally get started, but it's still a exam and so it makes me a bit nerous, as well. But I hope it's gonna be OK. Today they checked our weights again and almost everybody lost some kilos here, including me. I'm starting to look forward to the caves in Ajanta and Elora, though parts of me are getting sad about saying goodbye to this and to the people here. I still have to prepare my lesson tomorrow; tonite I'm too tired.
Hari Om
I was so tired today, that was because I couldn't fall into sleep yesterday night, due to full moon and a late chai. Then we had our Parichay Asana exam today. First we had to do Pranayam, Abdominal lock and Neti (nasal cleaning) in the morning and then the Asanas in the afternoon. It was actually alright, nobody was nearly as nervous as the first time and everybody did quite well. Then we got our lesson for the trial session tomorrow. I'm gonna be giving it at 4pm and I picked such a weired mix of Asanas. One of them is Ashwiri Mudra, which is also called Horse Posture and guess what? Not because the posture lookes like horse. No! Because in that posture you have to move your anus like a horse after excretion in and out. And all that you gotta do while being in shoulderstand with bend knees. I don't know if I'll be able to hold my laughs back, but I guess it's nice to have some fun stuff in the lesson, too. So, tomorrow I will hold my first full Yoga lesson and I have mixed feelings about it. Of course it is cool to finally get started, but it's still a exam and so it makes me a bit nerous, as well. But I hope it's gonna be OK. Today they checked our weights again and almost everybody lost some kilos here, including me. I'm starting to look forward to the caves in Ajanta and Elora, though parts of me are getting sad about saying goodbye to this and to the people here. I still have to prepare my lesson tomorrow; tonite I'm too tired.
Hari Om
Thursday ddecember 3rd 09 8.20pm
Oh gosh! The last days so many people here are getting sick. They're having stomach problems, colds, nausea, dyarrhea etc. So far our room was fine until today. I obviously got contaminated with something as my whole body hurts, my mouth is very dry, I have temperature and a lot of acid in my stomach and no appetite. And then I had my trial lesson today, too. I didn't even have energy to practice at all, so I just jumped into it. But to my surprise it went very well! I had a lot of fun guiding the class through the session and especially the mediative postures just came so naturally to me. I didn't even prepare about what I would say or do during the shavasanas, but it was great! I got an awesome feedback from everybody and the assesor even asked me if I'm a professional teacher. Wow! So cool:) I hope that this cold will disappear soon, I hate being sick. I just got a Reiki from Karolina, which felt really nice. Ouch, everything hurts. Besides that I'm doing very well. The fact that my heart is detaching more and more from Marty is giving me a very intense feeling of freedom and liberation, which is surprising and not. Anyways, I enjoy and embrace it as much as I can and try not to judge whatever feeling occurs to me. I feel save and I am full of faith in myself and in life. I am thankful!
Hari Om
P.S. I don't think about sex here at all, which is a very new and interesting experience for me. It helps a lot to stay focused and keep the mind/desires quiet. I could really imagine to spend a very very long time here. It feels like the perfect environment for me. I've never been to a country before where spirituality is such a natural part of daily life. I love it!
Oh gosh! The last days so many people here are getting sick. They're having stomach problems, colds, nausea, dyarrhea etc. So far our room was fine until today. I obviously got contaminated with something as my whole body hurts, my mouth is very dry, I have temperature and a lot of acid in my stomach and no appetite. And then I had my trial lesson today, too. I didn't even have energy to practice at all, so I just jumped into it. But to my surprise it went very well! I had a lot of fun guiding the class through the session and especially the mediative postures just came so naturally to me. I didn't even prepare about what I would say or do during the shavasanas, but it was great! I got an awesome feedback from everybody and the assesor even asked me if I'm a professional teacher. Wow! So cool:) I hope that this cold will disappear soon, I hate being sick. I just got a Reiki from Karolina, which felt really nice. Ouch, everything hurts. Besides that I'm doing very well. The fact that my heart is detaching more and more from Marty is giving me a very intense feeling of freedom and liberation, which is surprising and not. Anyways, I enjoy and embrace it as much as I can and try not to judge whatever feeling occurs to me. I feel save and I am full of faith in myself and in life. I am thankful!
Hari Om
P.S. I don't think about sex here at all, which is a very new and interesting experience for me. It helps a lot to stay focused and keep the mind/desires quiet. I could really imagine to spend a very very long time here. It feels like the perfect environment for me. I've never been to a country before where spirituality is such a natural part of daily life. I love it!
Friday December 4th 09 8.40pm
After a pretty rough start in the morning today I started to feel much better during the day. And now I'm almost OK again, though very tired still. Somehow I'm looking forward to the end of the course. I think it's because we're not learning anything new anymore and all the trial lessons are becoming really repetetive. Well, it's just 2 more days. My last exam is on Sunday. They just caught a Cobra in front of our dining hall. It's really funny how much wildlife we have around here. Ilo, Dawn and me are building a Solarwaterheater out of plastic bottles. We're hopefully finnishing it tomorrow and if it works it might be a good model for the villages around here, as it doesn't nees any electricity or power to work.
Hari Om
After a pretty rough start in the morning today I started to feel much better during the day. And now I'm almost OK again, though very tired still. Somehow I'm looking forward to the end of the course. I think it's because we're not learning anything new anymore and all the trial lessons are becoming really repetetive. Well, it's just 2 more days. My last exam is on Sunday. They just caught a Cobra in front of our dining hall. It's really funny how much wildlife we have around here. Ilo, Dawn and me are building a Solarwaterheater out of plastic bottles. We're hopefully finnishing it tomorrow and if it works it might be a good model for the villages around here, as it doesn't nees any electricity or power to work.
Hari Om
5.12.2009 Saturday 8.20pm
I feel so weak and tired and I'm having fever almost all day long. I just spoke to Katy and she said that it sounds like a bug that I'm having. Well, that would make sense as it goes around so quickly, too and everybody feels similar. Tomorrow I have my final exam and I'm not really prepared, because I was too weak for it. During the class today I had to lay down, because I couldn't even stay in sitting position without trembling. I really hope that this will disappear without taking any antibiotics! It's scary, especially because so many of us are getiing sick. It's every day a new case at least, mostly two or three. Tomorrow is also Talent Show and cooking session. I'm gonna cook with Robert, Nora and some others for the rest of us. We're making homemade pasta, two different sauces and two salads. I'll go to sleep already and hope to feel better tomorrow morning.
Hari Om
I feel so weak and tired and I'm having fever almost all day long. I just spoke to Katy and she said that it sounds like a bug that I'm having. Well, that would make sense as it goes around so quickly, too and everybody feels similar. Tomorrow I have my final exam and I'm not really prepared, because I was too weak for it. During the class today I had to lay down, because I couldn't even stay in sitting position without trembling. I really hope that this will disappear without taking any antibiotics! It's scary, especially because so many of us are getiing sick. It's every day a new case at least, mostly two or three. Tomorrow is also Talent Show and cooking session. I'm gonna cook with Robert, Nora and some others for the rest of us. We're making homemade pasta, two different sauces and two salads. I'll go to sleep already and hope to feel better tomorrow morning.
Hari Om
10pm Sunday 6th of December 09
It's over. We've just had the last evening all together. I'm a little bit sad actually. It turned out that Ilo, Sanna and Gandhar had a bad fight yesterday and my suspection about him turned out to be absolutely right: He has got the biggest EGO and is not wise, nor mature, calm or any of that, which is more than sad. I'm very very disappointed actually! And it's sad, that they gotta leave with a bad feeling.
The other weired special today was that "our" main Guru Swami Satyananda "went into Samadhi" or died. So, we were not allowed to have our Talent show, nor our Yogic party, nor our dinner. Instead we had to get together and sing Mantras for two hours. But at least we made two huge chocolate cakes for tomorrow. Then, ah yeah my final exam went very well actually! I went over the time for full 10 minutes, which took away a lot of points, but it was an awesome class and even our assesor said that it was great and everybody enjoyed it. I just didn't check the time when I started the class and then I didn't care anymore and I didn't even use my notes today. I loved it, especially the meditative parts in Shavasana I loved. Then I called Cyriac and asked him how the situation is in Hampi for teaching and he asked me to come over, because people have been asking for Yoga teachers! So, I'm going to teach Yoga in Hampi after my Vipassana! YAY! I'm very very excited, curious and of course nervous about it, but I think it's a great opportunity to make some teaching experience in a beautiful environment. AND, last but not least, I'm gonna be my own boss!
I felt really sick today. Again fever and I had to take paracetamol. After our exam we went to Trimbauk to spend our day there and instead of taking it easy we went to eat straight at a little dirty Indian "restaurant". It took maximum one hour until Karolina and me had the worst diarrhea. I'm not complaining, it's our own fault;) Later in the day I got completely dizzy. The symptoms are just so strange that Ican't put my finger on it. Just to be on the safe side I asked Marg to bring me an antibiotic from town today, so that I at least hve some sort of stand by medication in case that I'll be feeling worse and no doctor is around. Tomorrow morning at five my roommates are leaving already and it's so hard to imagine them not being around anymore. I think I especially will miss Karolina. She became a really nice friend during this month of sharing room, thoughts, feelings and most importantly food;) One more day in the Yoga Vidya Gurukul Ashram before the "cave group" is heading to Arjanta and I'm really looking forward to it!
Hari Om
It's over. We've just had the last evening all together. I'm a little bit sad actually. It turned out that Ilo, Sanna and Gandhar had a bad fight yesterday and my suspection about him turned out to be absolutely right: He has got the biggest EGO and is not wise, nor mature, calm or any of that, which is more than sad. I'm very very disappointed actually! And it's sad, that they gotta leave with a bad feeling.
The other weired special today was that "our" main Guru Swami Satyananda "went into Samadhi" or died. So, we were not allowed to have our Talent show, nor our Yogic party, nor our dinner. Instead we had to get together and sing Mantras for two hours. But at least we made two huge chocolate cakes for tomorrow. Then, ah yeah my final exam went very well actually! I went over the time for full 10 minutes, which took away a lot of points, but it was an awesome class and even our assesor said that it was great and everybody enjoyed it. I just didn't check the time when I started the class and then I didn't care anymore and I didn't even use my notes today. I loved it, especially the meditative parts in Shavasana I loved. Then I called Cyriac and asked him how the situation is in Hampi for teaching and he asked me to come over, because people have been asking for Yoga teachers! So, I'm going to teach Yoga in Hampi after my Vipassana! YAY! I'm very very excited, curious and of course nervous about it, but I think it's a great opportunity to make some teaching experience in a beautiful environment. AND, last but not least, I'm gonna be my own boss!
I felt really sick today. Again fever and I had to take paracetamol. After our exam we went to Trimbauk to spend our day there and instead of taking it easy we went to eat straight at a little dirty Indian "restaurant". It took maximum one hour until Karolina and me had the worst diarrhea. I'm not complaining, it's our own fault;) Later in the day I got completely dizzy. The symptoms are just so strange that Ican't put my finger on it. Just to be on the safe side I asked Marg to bring me an antibiotic from town today, so that I at least hve some sort of stand by medication in case that I'll be feeling worse and no doctor is around. Tomorrow morning at five my roommates are leaving already and it's so hard to imagine them not being around anymore. I think I especially will miss Karolina. She became a really nice friend during this month of sharing room, thoughts, feelings and most importantly food;) One more day in the Yoga Vidya Gurukul Ashram before the "cave group" is heading to Arjanta and I'm really looking forward to it!
Hari Om
Monday December 7th 3.30pm Nashik
I'M OFFICIALLY A YOGA TEACHER!!! AND I HAD TWO CHocLATE CAKES ALREADY:)
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Another week at the Ashram...
November 18th 9.20pm
Today was a hard day for me. Not only because the day in the city was very stressfull and intense in terms of noise and just pace and people.
I got a phone today, which finally gave me the opportunity to talk to Marty for a while in a more or less private environment. Well, we talked about us and came to the conclusion that we will not continue our relationship. It turned out that we’re staning at two different points in our lives or we see ourselves from different viewpoints in the relationship. I feel ready to take the path of being together with everything that this can mean, like sharing a home, sharing fears, maybe children and sharing what you just call life. But my intuition was right again, cause I was feeling this already for some time. Marty doesn’t feel the same way and I’m glad that he told me tonite. He’s not ready to for major changes and these thoughts make him anxious, which is, of course, not a good and balanced bases for a relationship. Of course, it hurts a lot, but that’s how it is now and I will have to deal with it. Everything changed now for me from now to then. Change is the rule of nature and I’m curious what this change will bring me…
Hari Om
P.S. I got my nose pierced.
November 19th 1.15pm
What a rough start into the day. I got hardly any sleep last night and every time I woke up I remebered Marty and each time I was wondering if it’s just a bad dream or true and every time it hurt again in the same way. It’s almost like I’m only starting to realize what happened yesterday. Then during the mantra session I got suddenly totally emotional and bursted into tears, the same happened during the Asana class afterwards. I left out breakfast as well, as I didn’t feel anything like to eat. Yoga Nidra (this is also called Yogic sleep, where you’re in between beeing awake and asleep) helped me alittle bit to calm my mind and free it from dwelling on that topic. I’m not sure if our decision was right to end this relationship. Yes, it’s a very tough situation we have to deal with and Marty’s anxiety about us, which appears when we’re apart, is definitevely something to think about. But I’m wondering, if this is something that can be worked on or not. I also wonder if it wouldn’t be a better idea if he just came here like planned and we’ll just see what happens. On the other hand this is again very stressful for me then as nothing is gonna be fixed or let’s say no decision will be made and no plans about us staying together. This is so tricky! I love him and I love us together. I just don’t know what to do and what is the right decision. I mean from our former experience it was always that we were perfectly fine as soon and as long as we were together. Now the question is also can I deal with his doubts that he continuously has when I’m away? The answer is: I don’t know it and how could I? I tried to call today, but nobody answered, so I send him a text and asked him to call me in the evening. I didn’t get an answer so far and I don’t know if it’s because he just didn’t write me back or if I just can’t receive the text, like with my mum’s. I hate this situation of not even being able to communicate face to face and then this speculating about what happened and so on. I feel very very sad and my belly hurts from that.
November 20th 9pm
I never received a call yesterday, so I called today and found out that he never got the text and when I asked him to call me back it didn’t work either. I assume the phone I bought is broken, cause he could call me on Marg’s phone. Anyways, we didn’t have much time on the phone and it felt rushed, cause for me it was right during and after Karma Yoga and he needed to go to bed, as he had to get up so early the next day for selling. I recommended to him that he should come to India as originally planned and then we would see what happens. He seemed to be already kind of settled in his decision or mood of being out of the relationship, which kind of hurts me even more I must say. I mean the phone call is just 2 days ago and he already feels more like it’s over. Still I don’t feel bad about calling him, cause I think it’s a good thing to try anything when you feel like doing it. I don’t want to regret anything or keep asking myself if I tried any possibility to make it work as long as I’m still in love. He was quite overwhelmed by my suggestion and couldn’t give me a straight answer about it, so we’ll check in next week. I think whatever happens it will be OK. Even if I don’t see the sense behind it I’m sure there will be a time when I will. In the morning I felt very confused and just very sad and depressed. It got better after Yoganidra. Actually a lot better and then I talked with Rene about it, which was a great help as well. He saw the things pretty much as they are and did not try to influence me or so, which is very important for me. I still have this heavy feeling on my chest, which is there continously sometimes heavier and sometimes less heavy. But at least I enjoyed the second half of the day, where I was able to laugh and talk with the others. We had our first microlesson today, where we’re supposed to teach certain parts of a yoga session in a small group of 6. We started with the opnening, which includes relaxation, correct meditation pose, Omkar chanting and coming out of the position. It was interesting to see how differently everybody prepared for it. Some people were mantra singing throughout the day some were writing down notes about what they would say and so on. And some people would just show up, see what happens and just decide in the very moment what to do. So did IJ! That was great fun to go so much with the flow. Until my last inhale before opening my mouth I wasn’t quite sure what would come out. I let everything happen intuitively and it worked very well. Of course I was a bit nervous first and thought that my Omkar sounded very shaky as my voice felt very nervous. But the feedback I got was quite nice and apparently my voice was alright. Cool! I hope it stays like that and the next prectices are gonna be fine as well. Tomorrow we gonna do “prepositions”. We’ll see…
Hari Om
P.S. I got a Reiki from Karolina yesterday night, which felt really nice. It’s so nice of her how she is taking care of me now, same with Marg.
November 21st 9pm
Again sooo tired. The last two nights together I got maybe a total of 5 hours sleep. During the day I had so much energy though and I felt really great. I was so flexible, too. I wonder what that is; Marg said it’s my hormones, which raised up now after my period. It was a very long day though. We had an assignement, a microlesson about prepositions (went very well. Again without any preparation;), then mantra-singing (108 times after sunset) and finally singing and dancing at 8pm. This course is so much fun, but also a lot of work! OK, I’ll fall into bed now.
Hari Om
November 22nd 9.30pm
Finally I got some sleep last night. It makes such a difference during the day. I had and still have so much more energy. Today was really awesome by the way. The micro lesson went very well. We had to teach preparatory movements and I did everything spontaneously again, which was perfectly fine. Then we had two lectures about Ayurveda by that totally awesome doctor! Seriously, that man was just so funny and wonderfully enternaining. I just wanna be friends with him. I just came back from the shop (we have a little “shop” here in the Ashram, where you can buy toiletries, healthy snacks and Yoga books. But people mainly come to socialize:). So, there I was talking to Robert about meditation, its different forms and impacts. It was really interesting, cause he knows a lot about it. He does Vipassana since 15 years. I forgot to write that, but yesterday at dinner time Kate suddenly showed up with a plate of traditional Indian sweets and gave it to everyone in the name of my birthday. Sooo sweet! Both the gesture and the cake;) I love this place a lot actually. The energy here is just so good and so balanced. Everybody smiles at you and you smile back. Today I tried the “Scorpion” (it’s a very difficult Asana) for the first time with the help of the wall and it almost worked. Wow! Of, course immediately I was full of bees and totally excited. I think with a little bit of practice I could master it in a couple of weeks. Yay. Concerning Marty and me I’m not sure what to think or feel. Yesterday night Karolina let me pick one of her cards and picked “Bridgette”. But the scary thing is that I picked her now for the second time in one week. The card says “caution! This is not the only way! Let your intuition guide you and don’t be anxious, because something better is waiting for you.” Well, that’s an intense message for the situation that I’m in right now. I guess we’ll see. I feel like the party animal today. I came home at 9.15pm and everybody was sleeping here already. Ashram life is funny!
Hari Om
November 22nd. 9.40pm Monday
Time flies here and no wonder, cause the days are just packed with activities! Today was very hard for all of us, cause our microlesson was on Surya Namaskar and there you have to remember so so many little details that it’s almost impossible to remember everything when you teach for the first time. But I think everybody did well. I ‘m just so exhausted, cause I was practicing it so much, I think I did at least 30-50 Surya Namaskar today that’s tiring! And then I had that phone call from Marty today where he told me that he’s not coming here. On the one hand I kind of suspected that already, but on the other hand I just can’t grasp it (yet?). I mean how can you shift so much because of one phone call?! And I also know that this is just because we’re apart that he’s so scared and feeling weared and all that. So, I was thinking for a moment to fly over if he doesn’t come and to fight for us. But I’m concerned that this behaviour of him getting scared and me getting there (like I already did a month ago) will become pattern in our relationship and that is something that I wouldn’t want. For me this relationship is so much more. I was planning to direct my whole life into that direction and now everything is in the air. I’m not quite sure if Marty is aware of that at all. His whole decision is made out of momentarily feelings and considering us as what we are as a whole. And that makes me crazy! Why doesn’t he just come here and we see then what happens? Even if there are doubts, so what? There’s only one way to find out: Take the risk and see what happens, instead of running away. I’m not sure what to do. I’ve been talking about it with Robert, Marg and Karolina, which helps me a lot. They’re just so lovely, wise and caring. Thank you guys:) I hope that the universe will help me to get an answer.
Other than that we have an assignment again tomorrow. Wow, I feel like the days here are getting more and more intense and I’m really looking forward to Wednesday our day off. I also need some hearty food. The last two days weren’t really amazing here.
What am I gonna do? Where am I gonna go? I don’t know! I try to be full of faith, but I’m afraid at times as well. Not only afraid, but also…I can’t give up on all my dreams yet and in most of them Marty plays an important role.
Hari Om
P.S. During Yoganidra my body felt so loaded with energy today-it was amazing! I could feel the flow of energy in every cell so intensely. WOW!
November 23rd 8.30pm Tuesday
So, finally the week is over and I’m really looking forward to our day off. I feel really tired. Today we had an assignment again and so we were studying for it all day long, then asana lesson, then microlesson, then discussion and dinner. I have to go to Nashik again tomorrow though I’m not in the mood for it at all-the noise, the pollution, all the people who want something from you. I hope next week I’ll be able to stay here and check out Trimbauk and the mountains around here. I spoke to Seiko today for the first time. He’s in my microlesson group. It was a really interesting conversation actually. He’s going to Ghana after this to open a Yoga-school there and then we started talking about Tunisia and that he wanted to go there this year, but that they refused his visa. I told him that I might go to teach in Tunisia for the summer and he became very interested in networking and told me about an African Yoga alliance that is just starting to develop at the very moment and that we should try to become part of it. Then we exchanged email-adresses and said that we gonna try to visit each other then. Well, we’ll see.
I had heart burn today during Asanas and I think it was because of some anger that I accumulated during the day. First of all breakfast was too late and not good, then lunch was not good at all either and on top of everything I got really angry about Marty! Interesting how the feelings are shifting through the different stages. Well, today I kept thinking about him randomly and that I just don’t get what’s happening at all. That I still love him so much, that my connection is just so strong and then I had to remember so many situation where we just were so great together and so caring. Especially when I see Sanna and Ilo I have to think of us a lot. They’re so loving to each other and it reminds me so much of us. I keep wondering about any alternative solutions how we can stay together without any major dramas. Uff, this is really hard!
Hari Om
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Ashram life is good life...
My room-mates and me in front of our rooms on our way to breakfast...YAY!
Ahram life and birthday
Tuesday 6.20pm
After a very long and exhausting journey, which was altogether 26 hours long, I finally reached the Ahram yesterday at midnight. I felt a little guilty, because some people had be wakened up to bring me to room etc., but after all I was just so glad to finally get a bed and some sleep. So, I had a room for myself for one night to let the others sleep and could sleep very very well, which was no surprise after being awake for almost 50 hours.
The rain that started in Mysore on Saturday keeps chasing me and so it also started to rain here very heavily in the night and it is still pouring. Today was still a sort of an introductory day and we where off until 4 pm. Most of the others went into town, but I went back to bed and slept another good 4-5 hours, which I definitely needed.
So far my impression of this place and of the people is very positive. Eventhough we are more than expected – I think we’re 44 total – I’m sure it’s gonna be an important and intense experience. The students I met so far had very different backgrounds, but everybody was very open and friendly. Our inaugoration ceremony was held by “Guruji” the actual founder of the Yoga Vidya Ashram. An old wise man, dressed in orange with a good energy. He gave us a short lesson about Yoga, life and this course. Then we sang a funny song that was written by the man who sang it to us, who is also an old wise Indian man with a cool vibe. The song went like “Heart, my heart calm down and be good. Be good be good and practise Yoga everyday. And so on.” He sang and we recalled. I loved it, cause it’s so simple and innocent. Then we got a lot of warnings about the wildlife here.Apparently we got foxes, hyenas, scorpians and loads of snakes here. In the office there are tons of pics with king cobras, which were caught in the Ashram. That’s why every room has a sort of protection step to keep them out. Well, great then after the leaches I gotta deal with their big daddys, he? I don’t mind snakes though as long as they stay away, I’m fine. Now I moved into the other room where I have 3 roommates who I just briefly met. Two ladies are already a bit older and married moms. One from Australia and one from Mumbai. The other girl is Polish and living in Portugal. They all seem to be super nice. I’m surprised to see how many people just flew over for this course. They also offer a volunteer programm for after finnishing the course. I met some who are volunteering now and they seem to be quite satisfied. We’ll see. This is my first day here and tomorrow the regular schedule will start at 5.30 sharp. I’m excited and really glad to be here.
Wednesday, Nov.11th 9pm
So, this was my first day at the Ashram…
It was full and full and full of so many different impressions. The day started at 5am. After a night without much sleep due to the rain and storm that is still going on by the way. It’s apparently a cyclon, which devastated the whole costal region. Here it was quite intense as well. We had to stop our lecture, as it was raining to heavily for the roof and we all got wet and was way too loud to understand a single word, too. Then moved to a “new” buildung for the Asana class (new means here still under construction;). So, the day was really experimantal today. Nice was that I had the chance to talk to some other students. Altogether my first day was full of ups and downs for me. I think this Ashram situation s actually much more challenging for me than I expected it to be. It’s just so many new things that one has to get used from now to then. No speaaking while eating, a full programm from morning to evening, 4 hours of Asanas and then they told us that there gonna be exams as well. When I heard that I suddenly wanted to leave immediately. I hate it to be tested! Especially cause I have my joint issues, which totally hold me back from some progress. And then I see all these much more flexible people…pressure. Well, I try to take it easy and focus on my own practise as I did before.
The food here is absolutely delicious. Most of it is organic and vegan (though I miss ice-creamJ). After the Asana class I went with Karolina – my roommate from Poland – to the meditation room, where we sat for half an hour. My joints felt so bad after that already and I’m starting to realize how hard the Vipassana will be. Not only mentally, but also and especially physically.
My roommates are cool ladies, but none of them is really chatty right now and everybody is sleeping already while I’m writing this. At least we have curtains, so I don’t have to have such a bad conscience. Oh, the power went out AGAIN! This is daily routine here. At least for 6 hours we don’t have any power daily.
They forcasted rain for the next 10 days. I really hope they’re wrong! It sucks so much to be wet all the time. I washed all my clothes the day before yesterday and everything is still wet and beginns to smell. Then these wet feet. Arg! OK, that’s it for today. A quick shower and that’s it for today.
Hari Om
Thursay 9pm
Today was challenging again. I could hardly get any sleep last night, cause the matress is so thin and so the bed is so hard that my roomate Mag even got bruises from it. So, I was very tired today. I talked to Guruji and Kate, who is working here since 3 years, about my joint pain and menstrual cramps and I’ll get some herbal treatment plus massage. They also told me that I’m NOT supposed to push any postures when it hurts. I must admit that I was pushing very hard even under severe pain I stayed in the Asana hoping that it would make me more flexible. Well, I’m gonna listen to them it sounds like the healthiest way. The lectures were great as well, now that we could finally hear what thery were saying, cause the rain and storm stopped. Thank god. I’m gonna try to sleep.
Hari Om
Friday 8.30pm
Finally the sun came out and surprised us with a magnificent view, which lets one think of Australia or Utah. Huge Canyons beautifully rise upon the horizon when I step out of my room.
The other “special” today was that I got my period. Now one could wonder why this should be mentioned at all. But being here at the Yoga Ashram the menstruation plays a big role as we’re learning new Asanas every day and over 50 % of them should not be practised during the period. Some of the teachers here even recommend not to do any Asanas for the first two days of menstruation. Due to the fact the we have 4 hours of Asana practise daily I had to deal with it. It’s somehow strange, cause we talked about it yesterday in our discussion (I was the one who started asking about it). I decided to takepart in the practise and to replace the inverted Asanas with others. Well, this somehow is also an inofficial statement for having your period, which is kind of strange to share that information with another 45 people who you normally probably would not inform about it…but I feel like it’s totally OK to deal with it openly here.
Yoga claims that women are spiritually much more open during their menstruation and I must say I can feel some of that today. After the class I was so full of bliss and I felt so balanced and joyful. Somehow that all goes hand in hand with my appetite. The longer I’m here the less I need to eat, which is always a good sign in my case, as I normally tend to eat more than I should. So, this is a natural development. The other interesting development is that I didn’t have any have menstruation cramps so far. Usually I can’t get through the first day without heavy pain medication and I was afraid first as I purposly didn’t take any with me, cause I wanted to stay away from anything unnatural as much as possible.
Many of the students are here with their partners and it’s interesting for them as they’re not allowed to share a room nor to show any affection. Most of them are ven married. I guess it must be very challenging but exciting, too. Tonite I would have loved to be able to talk to Marty for a bit. But the only possibility to call is from the shop and the shop is full with shopping and giggling fellow Yoga students and I decided to avoid any more phone calls where others are listening as it makes me feel and act akwardly on the phone. I’m gona try to study a little bit the Sanskrit expressions for all those new postures we’re learning, otherwise it’s not gonna be possible to keep up and also not to pass the exam on November 17th. I’m so glad that I came here. Every day shows me more and more how unique this experience is and how much it will shape every single one of us. By the way I love the food here so so much! It’s so delicious and nutricious. Om Shanti
November 14th, Saturday 9.30pm
WOW! What a day! Full of awesomeness, love, silence, spirituality, chanting and more love!
When I woke up in the morning I didn’t even remember that it was my birthday until we were in the Asana class. But then I decided not to tell it around as I didn’t see the point in it. I was so happy anyways I didn’t need or at least didn’t want to ask for any extra birthday-attention. So, I just told Nita and Mag (two of my roommates). After I had a little nap in the afternoon I woke up and found some organic sweets, a CD with YogaNidra on it and a greeting card next to me. It was from Nita and she must have told Ling (our Asana teacher, who is an adorable young lady from Singhapur). Then there was not only one but two specials today. First we all went together to the meditation room and did 108 Mantras for health, which was led by an old Guru-lady. It was amazing. During dinner Kate ( the longterm volunteer here) told us that at 8pm there will be some dancing and singing in the hall. Wow, we were excited about what would be going on. I changed my clothes and wore my Indian weird “costume” in pink and green and went with the girls. It was so awesome. The whole group of teachers and volunteers was on stage including the Guru-lady and played traditional Indian instruments and sang with us. It was so wonderful everybody was clapping hands and smiling into each others faces. Just when I thought this can’t get any better Kate and Prashant (one teacher) came down the stage and encouraged us to dance. We made a huge circle and they showed us some moves, which we did altogether. It was so much fun. Then we sat down again and I got such a moving surprise. Kate took the mic and told everybody that it’s my birthday and everybody started applauding and then singing happy birthday. Oh, it made me so happy to look into so many sincere faces who all wished me the best in this moment. This was probably one of the best birthdays I ever had in my life. It’s gonna be hard to top that. By the way. When I think of what I did last year on my Bday I can only say, how much more different can you spend your birthday? One year in Las Vegas and the next one in an Ashram in India…
Hari Om;)
Sunday November 15th 9pm
I still can’t believe what I’ve just seen!
Our teachers just gave us a little show of what they can perform; which kind of Yogic posture they can do and it was just AMAZING! All these people who walk around during the day and fix your light bulb or clean something or give you a lecture now were standing on stage and let all of us stand there full of awe. I mean one of them did the Scorpion in handstand then he did the locust and lifted up his feet to his head, while was lying on his belly. Do these people have bones?! They told us again and again that this is not Yoga and that we’re NOT supposed to do these things. But, hey you can’t show me a chocolate cake and tell me then that I’m not allowed to eat it…frankly I feel like after watching “Rocky” when I was ten. Obviously I didn’t mature at all, cause I’m so excited still the only thing I can think of is doing Asanas Asanas, Asanas to get better and to do these crazy things. Man! So insane! I’ll load up some pics as soon as I can. Wowwowwow!
Other than that it was a pretty relaxed day today. Also because it was the first time that I could finally sleep for a full night from 11pm to 4.30am. That felt so great. Then we had an Anatomy lesson, where the doctor explained to us why Yoga during menstruation should not be practised, especially not any inverted positions. And, gosh, after today I definitively know that period and Yoga do NOT go together. It’s horrible, cause if you’re really unlucky and you do an iverted posture when you’re menstruating some bloodcells can wander back into your abdominal area and multiply, which causes that whenever you’re menstruating these cells will bleed in your body, too. And there’s no healing for this and hurts so badly! Everybody got so scared after hearing this. He even claimed that any Yoga excersice is absolutely inappropriate and even harmful during your period. After this we (me and two other girls) decided not to take part in the class today, though I think tomorrow I’m gonna participate again, at least slowly. This show tonite won’t let me rest for very long that I know already.
Hari Om
P.S.: How will I sleep tonite with all these Yogabees in my belly?!
16th November 2009 9pm
Today we had a guest lecture by a sports-psychologist who talked about the power of imagination/visualization. Another prove that the “secret” apparently works I guess.
Well, besides this there was nothing really special today. I was very very tired though, so tired that I almost nodded of in the lectures. The Asana classes were nice today and in the evening I practised with my roommates Mag and Nita to be prepared for our Asana-exam tomorrow. At least as much as possible. The good thing is that we’re all more or less in the same shape, so nobody has to feel inferior or so. I could talk to Marty today after a very very long time, finally. I don’t know for how long we didn’t talk, but it feels like ages and then it’s always somehow weired as well to be on the phone surrounded by a crowd of people and having to deal with a super old Indian phone that gives you a connection that really s..ks.Anyways, it was good to hear him for at least some moments, which is better that nothing. Wednesday is our day off and everybody is already looking forward to all the forbidden worldly temptations like: Garlic, internet, onions, chocolate, coffee, chai etc. I gotta go to sleep, my eyes are shutting down.
Hari Om
P.S. Did I ever mention how much I like Gandha? He’s one of our lecturers and coordinator. He’s just a very smart, wise and funny Yogadude! Cool man.
November 17th. 8.30 pm
Yay! The exam is over and everybody is happy, also because tomorrow is our first day off. Yay again. So, the exam was fine I guess, at least it felt alright and to be honest I don’t really care about the points I got. We were tested in a group of 6 people in a separate room and each assessor made us do 2 Asanas each. We’ve been examed in 9 different Asanas plus three rounds of Surya Namaskar (sun salutations). It’s funny how sweaty everybody got eventhough we’re doing these things for 4 hours per day without shweating;) Anyways, I’m happy it’s over and looking forward to tomorrow to do some city browsing in Nasik and to hopefully finally get a cell phone to be a little bit more reachable for all my dearest Schnuffifriends and family. Everybody went up the hill behind our room to watch the sunset and it was so gorgeous. The landscape around the Ashram is just amazing. Tonite everybody was very relaxed and chatty, so that people even talked during dinner, which normally never would happen. I really like our group here. It’s such a good energy!
Hari Om
After a very long and exhausting journey, which was altogether 26 hours long, I finally reached the Ahram yesterday at midnight. I felt a little guilty, because some people had be wakened up to bring me to room etc., but after all I was just so glad to finally get a bed and some sleep. So, I had a room for myself for one night to let the others sleep and could sleep very very well, which was no surprise after being awake for almost 50 hours.
The rain that started in Mysore on Saturday keeps chasing me and so it also started to rain here very heavily in the night and it is still pouring. Today was still a sort of an introductory day and we where off until 4 pm. Most of the others went into town, but I went back to bed and slept another good 4-5 hours, which I definitely needed.
So far my impression of this place and of the people is very positive. Eventhough we are more than expected – I think we’re 44 total – I’m sure it’s gonna be an important and intense experience. The students I met so far had very different backgrounds, but everybody was very open and friendly. Our inaugoration ceremony was held by “Guruji” the actual founder of the Yoga Vidya Ashram. An old wise man, dressed in orange with a good energy. He gave us a short lesson about Yoga, life and this course. Then we sang a funny song that was written by the man who sang it to us, who is also an old wise Indian man with a cool vibe. The song went like “Heart, my heart calm down and be good. Be good be good and practise Yoga everyday. And so on.” He sang and we recalled. I loved it, cause it’s so simple and innocent. Then we got a lot of warnings about the wildlife here.Apparently we got foxes, hyenas, scorpians and loads of snakes here. In the office there are tons of pics with king cobras, which were caught in the Ashram. That’s why every room has a sort of protection step to keep them out. Well, great then after the leaches I gotta deal with their big daddys, he? I don’t mind snakes though as long as they stay away, I’m fine. Now I moved into the other room where I have 3 roommates who I just briefly met. Two ladies are already a bit older and married moms. One from Australia and one from Mumbai. The other girl is Polish and living in Portugal. They all seem to be super nice. I’m surprised to see how many people just flew over for this course. They also offer a volunteer programm for after finnishing the course. I met some who are volunteering now and they seem to be quite satisfied. We’ll see. This is my first day here and tomorrow the regular schedule will start at 5.30 sharp. I’m excited and really glad to be here.
Wednesday, Nov.11th 9pm
So, this was my first day at the Ashram…
It was full and full and full of so many different impressions. The day started at 5am. After a night without much sleep due to the rain and storm that is still going on by the way. It’s apparently a cyclon, which devastated the whole costal region. Here it was quite intense as well. We had to stop our lecture, as it was raining to heavily for the roof and we all got wet and was way too loud to understand a single word, too. Then moved to a “new” buildung for the Asana class (new means here still under construction;). So, the day was really experimantal today. Nice was that I had the chance to talk to some other students. Altogether my first day was full of ups and downs for me. I think this Ashram situation s actually much more challenging for me than I expected it to be. It’s just so many new things that one has to get used from now to then. No speaaking while eating, a full programm from morning to evening, 4 hours of Asanas and then they told us that there gonna be exams as well. When I heard that I suddenly wanted to leave immediately. I hate it to be tested! Especially cause I have my joint issues, which totally hold me back from some progress. And then I see all these much more flexible people…pressure. Well, I try to take it easy and focus on my own practise as I did before.
The food here is absolutely delicious. Most of it is organic and vegan (though I miss ice-creamJ). After the Asana class I went with Karolina – my roommate from Poland – to the meditation room, where we sat for half an hour. My joints felt so bad after that already and I’m starting to realize how hard the Vipassana will be. Not only mentally, but also and especially physically.
My roommates are cool ladies, but none of them is really chatty right now and everybody is sleeping already while I’m writing this. At least we have curtains, so I don’t have to have such a bad conscience. Oh, the power went out AGAIN! This is daily routine here. At least for 6 hours we don’t have any power daily.
They forcasted rain for the next 10 days. I really hope they’re wrong! It sucks so much to be wet all the time. I washed all my clothes the day before yesterday and everything is still wet and beginns to smell. Then these wet feet. Arg! OK, that’s it for today. A quick shower and that’s it for today.
Hari Om
Thursay 9pm
Today was challenging again. I could hardly get any sleep last night, cause the matress is so thin and so the bed is so hard that my roomate Mag even got bruises from it. So, I was very tired today. I talked to Guruji and Kate, who is working here since 3 years, about my joint pain and menstrual cramps and I’ll get some herbal treatment plus massage. They also told me that I’m NOT supposed to push any postures when it hurts. I must admit that I was pushing very hard even under severe pain I stayed in the Asana hoping that it would make me more flexible. Well, I’m gonna listen to them it sounds like the healthiest way. The lectures were great as well, now that we could finally hear what thery were saying, cause the rain and storm stopped. Thank god. I’m gonna try to sleep.
Hari Om
Friday 8.30pm
Finally the sun came out and surprised us with a magnificent view, which lets one think of Australia or Utah. Huge Canyons beautifully rise upon the horizon when I step out of my room.
The other “special” today was that I got my period. Now one could wonder why this should be mentioned at all. But being here at the Yoga Ashram the menstruation plays a big role as we’re learning new Asanas every day and over 50 % of them should not be practised during the period. Some of the teachers here even recommend not to do any Asanas for the first two days of menstruation. Due to the fact the we have 4 hours of Asana practise daily I had to deal with it. It’s somehow strange, cause we talked about it yesterday in our discussion (I was the one who started asking about it). I decided to takepart in the practise and to replace the inverted Asanas with others. Well, this somehow is also an inofficial statement for having your period, which is kind of strange to share that information with another 45 people who you normally probably would not inform about it…but I feel like it’s totally OK to deal with it openly here.
Yoga claims that women are spiritually much more open during their menstruation and I must say I can feel some of that today. After the class I was so full of bliss and I felt so balanced and joyful. Somehow that all goes hand in hand with my appetite. The longer I’m here the less I need to eat, which is always a good sign in my case, as I normally tend to eat more than I should. So, this is a natural development. The other interesting development is that I didn’t have any have menstruation cramps so far. Usually I can’t get through the first day without heavy pain medication and I was afraid first as I purposly didn’t take any with me, cause I wanted to stay away from anything unnatural as much as possible.
Many of the students are here with their partners and it’s interesting for them as they’re not allowed to share a room nor to show any affection. Most of them are ven married. I guess it must be very challenging but exciting, too. Tonite I would have loved to be able to talk to Marty for a bit. But the only possibility to call is from the shop and the shop is full with shopping and giggling fellow Yoga students and I decided to avoid any more phone calls where others are listening as it makes me feel and act akwardly on the phone. I’m gona try to study a little bit the Sanskrit expressions for all those new postures we’re learning, otherwise it’s not gonna be possible to keep up and also not to pass the exam on November 17th. I’m so glad that I came here. Every day shows me more and more how unique this experience is and how much it will shape every single one of us. By the way I love the food here so so much! It’s so delicious and nutricious. Om Shanti
November 14th, Saturday 9.30pm
WOW! What a day! Full of awesomeness, love, silence, spirituality, chanting and more love!
When I woke up in the morning I didn’t even remember that it was my birthday until we were in the Asana class. But then I decided not to tell it around as I didn’t see the point in it. I was so happy anyways I didn’t need or at least didn’t want to ask for any extra birthday-attention. So, I just told Nita and Mag (two of my roommates). After I had a little nap in the afternoon I woke up and found some organic sweets, a CD with YogaNidra on it and a greeting card next to me. It was from Nita and she must have told Ling (our Asana teacher, who is an adorable young lady from Singhapur). Then there was not only one but two specials today. First we all went together to the meditation room and did 108 Mantras for health, which was led by an old Guru-lady. It was amazing. During dinner Kate ( the longterm volunteer here) told us that at 8pm there will be some dancing and singing in the hall. Wow, we were excited about what would be going on. I changed my clothes and wore my Indian weird “costume” in pink and green and went with the girls. It was so awesome. The whole group of teachers and volunteers was on stage including the Guru-lady and played traditional Indian instruments and sang with us. It was so wonderful everybody was clapping hands and smiling into each others faces. Just when I thought this can’t get any better Kate and Prashant (one teacher) came down the stage and encouraged us to dance. We made a huge circle and they showed us some moves, which we did altogether. It was so much fun. Then we sat down again and I got such a moving surprise. Kate took the mic and told everybody that it’s my birthday and everybody started applauding and then singing happy birthday. Oh, it made me so happy to look into so many sincere faces who all wished me the best in this moment. This was probably one of the best birthdays I ever had in my life. It’s gonna be hard to top that. By the way. When I think of what I did last year on my Bday I can only say, how much more different can you spend your birthday? One year in Las Vegas and the next one in an Ashram in India…
Hari Om;)
Sunday November 15th 9pm
I still can’t believe what I’ve just seen!
Our teachers just gave us a little show of what they can perform; which kind of Yogic posture they can do and it was just AMAZING! All these people who walk around during the day and fix your light bulb or clean something or give you a lecture now were standing on stage and let all of us stand there full of awe. I mean one of them did the Scorpion in handstand then he did the locust and lifted up his feet to his head, while was lying on his belly. Do these people have bones?! They told us again and again that this is not Yoga and that we’re NOT supposed to do these things. But, hey you can’t show me a chocolate cake and tell me then that I’m not allowed to eat it…frankly I feel like after watching “Rocky” when I was ten. Obviously I didn’t mature at all, cause I’m so excited still the only thing I can think of is doing Asanas Asanas, Asanas to get better and to do these crazy things. Man! So insane! I’ll load up some pics as soon as I can. Wowwowwow!
Other than that it was a pretty relaxed day today. Also because it was the first time that I could finally sleep for a full night from 11pm to 4.30am. That felt so great. Then we had an Anatomy lesson, where the doctor explained to us why Yoga during menstruation should not be practised, especially not any inverted positions. And, gosh, after today I definitively know that period and Yoga do NOT go together. It’s horrible, cause if you’re really unlucky and you do an iverted posture when you’re menstruating some bloodcells can wander back into your abdominal area and multiply, which causes that whenever you’re menstruating these cells will bleed in your body, too. And there’s no healing for this and hurts so badly! Everybody got so scared after hearing this. He even claimed that any Yoga excersice is absolutely inappropriate and even harmful during your period. After this we (me and two other girls) decided not to take part in the class today, though I think tomorrow I’m gonna participate again, at least slowly. This show tonite won’t let me rest for very long that I know already.
Hari Om
P.S.: How will I sleep tonite with all these Yogabees in my belly?!
16th November 2009 9pm
Today we had a guest lecture by a sports-psychologist who talked about the power of imagination/visualization. Another prove that the “secret” apparently works I guess.
Well, besides this there was nothing really special today. I was very very tired though, so tired that I almost nodded of in the lectures. The Asana classes were nice today and in the evening I practised with my roommates Mag and Nita to be prepared for our Asana-exam tomorrow. At least as much as possible. The good thing is that we’re all more or less in the same shape, so nobody has to feel inferior or so. I could talk to Marty today after a very very long time, finally. I don’t know for how long we didn’t talk, but it feels like ages and then it’s always somehow weired as well to be on the phone surrounded by a crowd of people and having to deal with a super old Indian phone that gives you a connection that really s..ks.Anyways, it was good to hear him for at least some moments, which is better that nothing. Wednesday is our day off and everybody is already looking forward to all the forbidden worldly temptations like: Garlic, internet, onions, chocolate, coffee, chai etc. I gotta go to sleep, my eyes are shutting down.
Hari Om
P.S. Did I ever mention how much I like Gandha? He’s one of our lecturers and coordinator. He’s just a very smart, wise and funny Yogadude! Cool man.
November 17th. 8.30 pm
Yay! The exam is over and everybody is happy, also because tomorrow is our first day off. Yay again. So, the exam was fine I guess, at least it felt alright and to be honest I don’t really care about the points I got. We were tested in a group of 6 people in a separate room and each assessor made us do 2 Asanas each. We’ve been examed in 9 different Asanas plus three rounds of Surya Namaskar (sun salutations). It’s funny how sweaty everybody got eventhough we’re doing these things for 4 hours per day without shweating;) Anyways, I’m happy it’s over and looking forward to tomorrow to do some city browsing in Nasik and to hopefully finally get a cell phone to be a little bit more reachable for all my dearest Schnuffifriends and family. Everybody went up the hill behind our room to watch the sunset and it was so gorgeous. The landscape around the Ashram is just amazing. Tonite everybody was very relaxed and chatty, so that people even talked during dinner, which normally never would happen. I really like our group here. It’s such a good energy!
Hari Om
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Thursday, November 6th 2009 8:85pm
After a total bus ride of about nearly 12 hours and a traveling time from 6am to 8 pm we finally made the 300km from Gokarna to Madikeri, where we're now. Here we're staying in a private house, owned by an Indian family who lives right above us. They're married since 17 years and both are total sweethearts, especially he is funny as he reminds a lot on Mr Bean.
Alicia and me are wondering how it comes that people here don't have diabetes as everything is so sweet. The coffee is more sugar than anything else.
Friday.
Today we went our big hike and it should turn out to be really big and a a real challenge, too… After an awesome breakfast at Honey Valley we left at about 10 am heading towards nature, mountains, waterfalls, crazy trees and whatsoever. Our orientation was a little brochure with rough directions written by an American family who used to come here years ago. But everybody who ever experienced or saw a monsoon rain knows that any kind of directions to paths or trails become useless once the rain washed away everything. Not thinking about we started fresh and full of excitement. After about 2 hours we reached a way which led us into a rainforest, where my personal nightmare would be waiting for me. We entered totally in awe about all the tropical plants and sounds. Then suddenly I would feel something really could and wet on my foot (wearing just sandals). Stil not knowing what I’m dealing with I looked down and found a disgusting looking wormy animal, which was so hard to remove. I got rid of him looked at Alicia and at her feet and had to realize that both of her shoes were covered with…now we started realizing: LEACHES!!! These fricking things were everywhere and whenever we removed one there were two others quickly approachung our yummy heels. Alicia wearing sneakers quickly gave me her socks to at least have a little chance against these little monsters and then we started running and running and running, totally groced out. Her heel was bleeding already-one of the bastards was faster than us. I don’t remember ever been so groced out by anything in my entire life and I’ve seen many “challenging” things already! We finally reached a little pond which was the end of the forest. Finally! It took us about 15 minutes to remove all these horrible f….. bloodsuckers before we could carry on…The rest of our hike was just awesome with stunning views and beautiful landscape. When we came back home our shower – heated by a little fire – was already waiting for us. Man what a pleasureful shower and then we had the yummiest dinner since I’m here. Organic veg in numerous variations served in a buffet just for the two of us. I love this place so much! It seems I found the Austrian India here with all its rusticness and beauty.
Sunday. 6pm
We arrived in Mysore yesterday and after hours of painful booking and searching and trying I got my transportation to Mumbai. I’m taking the overnight bus to Mangalore from there a flight to Mumbai then taxi to the train, then train to Nasik and taxi to Ashram. I’m starting to get nervous. Today we went to the Maharadscha Palace here and it’s gorgeous! I’m gonna miss Alicia and Singh, it was so much fun to travel and hang out with them. I feel feveresh today and my body is aching. I hope that’s nothing serious-being here and being sick does not go well together. I wonder what the Ashram will be like and the other students. After all the payments probelmes for the course and the hard time I had to get all my tickets to get back there, sometimes I wasn’t sure anymore if it’s meant to be for me to go there. But now everything is booked and I’m going. Wow, an eight hour bus ride just for 250 km. This would take me maybe 2,5 hours back home. Well, then I should start packing again.
Monday 8.23 am
After a sweaty and bumpy 8 hour busride next to an obnoxious Indian guy I arrived in Mangalore, where I got dropped off not at the City Bus Stand but in the middle of soewhereelse. Well, I took a rikshaw to a chai-restaurant things, where I was the only woman again and then managed to get the right bus here to the airport. Now I'm waiting to get into the terminal thing sitting in the middle of about 30 women veiled in total black (even their eyes!) as a colorful little spot of oddness. I'm glad that everything is working out so well, so far.
After a total bus ride of about nearly 12 hours and a traveling time from 6am to 8 pm we finally made the 300km from Gokarna to Madikeri, where we're now. Here we're staying in a private house, owned by an Indian family who lives right above us. They're married since 17 years and both are total sweethearts, especially he is funny as he reminds a lot on Mr Bean.
Alicia and me are wondering how it comes that people here don't have diabetes as everything is so sweet. The coffee is more sugar than anything else.
Friday.
Today we went our big hike and it should turn out to be really big and a a real challenge, too… After an awesome breakfast at Honey Valley we left at about 10 am heading towards nature, mountains, waterfalls, crazy trees and whatsoever. Our orientation was a little brochure with rough directions written by an American family who used to come here years ago. But everybody who ever experienced or saw a monsoon rain knows that any kind of directions to paths or trails become useless once the rain washed away everything. Not thinking about we started fresh and full of excitement. After about 2 hours we reached a way which led us into a rainforest, where my personal nightmare would be waiting for me. We entered totally in awe about all the tropical plants and sounds. Then suddenly I would feel something really could and wet on my foot (wearing just sandals). Stil not knowing what I’m dealing with I looked down and found a disgusting looking wormy animal, which was so hard to remove. I got rid of him looked at Alicia and at her feet and had to realize that both of her shoes were covered with…now we started realizing: LEACHES!!! These fricking things were everywhere and whenever we removed one there were two others quickly approachung our yummy heels. Alicia wearing sneakers quickly gave me her socks to at least have a little chance against these little monsters and then we started running and running and running, totally groced out. Her heel was bleeding already-one of the bastards was faster than us. I don’t remember ever been so groced out by anything in my entire life and I’ve seen many “challenging” things already! We finally reached a little pond which was the end of the forest. Finally! It took us about 15 minutes to remove all these horrible f….. bloodsuckers before we could carry on…The rest of our hike was just awesome with stunning views and beautiful landscape. When we came back home our shower – heated by a little fire – was already waiting for us. Man what a pleasureful shower and then we had the yummiest dinner since I’m here. Organic veg in numerous variations served in a buffet just for the two of us. I love this place so much! It seems I found the Austrian India here with all its rusticness and beauty.
Sunday. 6pm
We arrived in Mysore yesterday and after hours of painful booking and searching and trying I got my transportation to Mumbai. I’m taking the overnight bus to Mangalore from there a flight to Mumbai then taxi to the train, then train to Nasik and taxi to Ashram. I’m starting to get nervous. Today we went to the Maharadscha Palace here and it’s gorgeous! I’m gonna miss Alicia and Singh, it was so much fun to travel and hang out with them. I feel feveresh today and my body is aching. I hope that’s nothing serious-being here and being sick does not go well together. I wonder what the Ashram will be like and the other students. After all the payments probelmes for the course and the hard time I had to get all my tickets to get back there, sometimes I wasn’t sure anymore if it’s meant to be for me to go there. But now everything is booked and I’m going. Wow, an eight hour bus ride just for 250 km. This would take me maybe 2,5 hours back home. Well, then I should start packing again.
Monday 8.23 am
After a sweaty and bumpy 8 hour busride next to an obnoxious Indian guy I arrived in Mangalore, where I got dropped off not at the City Bus Stand but in the middle of soewhereelse. Well, I took a rikshaw to a chai-restaurant things, where I was the only woman again and then managed to get the right bus here to the airport. Now I'm waiting to get into the terminal thing sitting in the middle of about 30 women veiled in total black (even their eyes!) as a colorful little spot of oddness. I'm glad that everything is working out so well, so far.
Monday, October 5, 2009
urban monk(ey)
I just came back from my first Yoga class since 3 months or so and it was really good. Well, frankly first I was so skeptical as the atmosphere was not relaxed at all in the studio. There was a very strong tension between the people waiting and not really a sign of openness. So, I said to myself well this is paid now and I'm gonna do it, but I'll not do Yoga again with these weirdos. Anyhow. Then the class started and the teacher was really talented I must say-the whole atmosphere changed and everybody became very focused. I enjoyed myself so much and also (and I'm really trying not to feed my ego here) I could see how much my daily sessions enabled me to such great progress. Yay! I even could manage to be not or at least the least competitive of all by listening to myself and choosing to go into child's pose when everybody else forced him or herself to stay shaky in the dog. What a huge step for me, daughter of the most competitive dad in the world.
Altogether it was a really nice day, also thanks to the weather's sunny face today and being outside for the most part.
P.S.: Bin mir nicht sicher, ob ich wirklich hier laengerfristig leben kann. Diese, wenn auch sehr attracktive, Betonwueste macht mich auf Dauer, glaub ich, muerbe. Ich brauche Natur!
Altogether it was a really nice day, also thanks to the weather's sunny face today and being outside for the most part.
P.S.: Bin mir nicht sicher, ob ich wirklich hier laengerfristig leben kann. Diese, wenn auch sehr attracktive, Betonwueste macht mich auf Dauer, glaub ich, muerbe. Ich brauche Natur!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Goa-Brooklyn
After a long journey crossing half of the entire globe I finally made it here in one piece. It's so amazing how - more or less - easily and quickly one can jump around the world today. Anyhow, I love it! Now I'm looking forward to my time here and also to returning to India in three weeks. I think I fell in love with that country and especially with its lovely lovely people. Just had my first Yoga session here in the appartment. Well, a bit different indeed it is compared to my daily beach-Yoga in Goa. But it's calm (after I removed a very excited dog lady from my mat) and not sandy.
I'm hungry. I'll check what I find here...
I'm hungry. I'll check what I find here...
Friday, September 25, 2009
Today I'm so full of positiveness it's almost ridiculous. I feel such an abundance of health and power in every life aspect that it would easily last for two. It's like spreading out life-rays wherever I go.
I know it must sound a bit cheesy, but that's how it really is right now. And it's true actually the thing with the mirror... I get smiles and smiles and shining eyes and hearts wherever I look.
We had also a beautiful extra-healthy lunch today, with half-boiled veggies, salad, a lentil curry without oil, whole wheat roti-bread (like naan) and rice. The waiters already know us everywhere and I think for them we're like two friendly pain-in-the-arses, who always want something special and on the super healthy side. But they do whatever we ask them for. Really whatever! So nice people. I must say almost everybody in this village so far is being so friendly to us, taxi drivers, vendors, the kids, the mamas (our beloved doctor not to forget) and even the dogs and cows.
Today we went for a little swim before our treatment - it's such a sunny and perfect day - and as my bikinis were still wet I decided to find a place for god-swimming (god-swimming is another term for nude-swimming "fkk"). Cause I try to be not too offensive, I went behind some rocks and also because I wanted to avoid the gazes by the plenty of Indian men that come here for vacation and who are always very open and communicative. Anyways, of course, we were not alone for more than 1 minute or so. And after I decided not to be bothered and to react as naturally as possible I was so surprised about how positive the reaction was! The guy that came over was so great, cool and respectful and treated me even like a dressed person. Also the three other men that were a little farther away reacted very positive. I must say, so far, I like the men here so much. They're so friendly and soft and you can tell that they act from an honest and innocent heart. I love it. Even when they get direct they stay natural. Until now we had some situations where guys asked us about boyfriends and stuff and when they noticed that we are not interested they all accepted the "no" (some after a while of explaining;) and left us with a polite "okay madam".
Today I feel very sexual. Actually since yesterday. I think the Ayurveda-massage is releasing some energies as well. It's so funny, I feel like I could get a dozens of super-orgasms, which could produce light for Mumbai and Delhi together. So far, to my biological urges. Digestion good today, also. Thank you Friday you've been very good to me so far.
I know it must sound a bit cheesy, but that's how it really is right now. And it's true actually the thing with the mirror... I get smiles and smiles and shining eyes and hearts wherever I look.
We had also a beautiful extra-healthy lunch today, with half-boiled veggies, salad, a lentil curry without oil, whole wheat roti-bread (like naan) and rice. The waiters already know us everywhere and I think for them we're like two friendly pain-in-the-arses, who always want something special and on the super healthy side. But they do whatever we ask them for. Really whatever! So nice people. I must say almost everybody in this village so far is being so friendly to us, taxi drivers, vendors, the kids, the mamas (our beloved doctor not to forget) and even the dogs and cows.
Today we went for a little swim before our treatment - it's such a sunny and perfect day - and as my bikinis were still wet I decided to find a place for god-swimming (god-swimming is another term for nude-swimming "fkk"). Cause I try to be not too offensive, I went behind some rocks and also because I wanted to avoid the gazes by the plenty of Indian men that come here for vacation and who are always very open and communicative. Anyways, of course, we were not alone for more than 1 minute or so. And after I decided not to be bothered and to react as naturally as possible I was so surprised about how positive the reaction was! The guy that came over was so great, cool and respectful and treated me even like a dressed person. Also the three other men that were a little farther away reacted very positive. I must say, so far, I like the men here so much. They're so friendly and soft and you can tell that they act from an honest and innocent heart. I love it. Even when they get direct they stay natural. Until now we had some situations where guys asked us about boyfriends and stuff and when they noticed that we are not interested they all accepted the "no" (some after a while of explaining;) and left us with a polite "okay madam".
Today I feel very sexual. Actually since yesterday. I think the Ayurveda-massage is releasing some energies as well. It's so funny, I feel like I could get a dozens of super-orgasms, which could produce light for Mumbai and Delhi together. So far, to my biological urges. Digestion good today, also. Thank you Friday you've been very good to me so far.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Glitter-glow-flow
WOW!
Yesterday night I had one of the most striking experiences of my entire life.
When we came back from town we found everybody back in the beach hut ready for a night swim. As it was already midnight and we were, quite frankly, just very very scared, we first hesitated before we finally joined. So, first skeptically and very carefully we entered the black huge ocean heading into the dark. After a few steps it suddenly started glowing! What was that? The more you moved the more it surrounded you and when you started swimming your whole body started to shine like an angel. I still don't really know what these plant-animal-micro-creatures are, but they are overwhelmingly beautiful. In this moment I suddenly totally grasped the meaning of "where's love there can be no fear". Though I understood it before in an intellectual way, I now KNOW what it exactly means, cause I experienced just that last night. In the very moment that I was surrounded by this unreal gorgeous light, there was only the NOW and nothing else. No space for fear, thoughts, mind...
Life is beautiful and it's now!
Yesterday night I had one of the most striking experiences of my entire life.
When we came back from town we found everybody back in the beach hut ready for a night swim. As it was already midnight and we were, quite frankly, just very very scared, we first hesitated before we finally joined. So, first skeptically and very carefully we entered the black huge ocean heading into the dark. After a few steps it suddenly started glowing! What was that? The more you moved the more it surrounded you and when you started swimming your whole body started to shine like an angel. I still don't really know what these plant-animal-micro-creatures are, but they are overwhelmingly beautiful. In this moment I suddenly totally grasped the meaning of "where's love there can be no fear". Though I understood it before in an intellectual way, I now KNOW what it exactly means, cause I experienced just that last night. In the very moment that I was surrounded by this unreal gorgeous light, there was only the NOW and nothing else. No space for fear, thoughts, mind...
Life is beautiful and it's now!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Ayurveda-man, I love you!
So, so so. What's new? too much and nothing for real. Today I wrote 3 pages, which I wanted to type in here, but now after dinner and a beer it's not really tempting anymore. Here in short(er):
1. The Indian food is AWESOME & it makes me smell like somebody I don't know, but probably like. So I have to get used my new self, which is very interesting. It sort of reminds you continuously that you're there. Hm.
2. We're getting an Ayurvedic treatment, which means that we're mainly oily, full of bruises a little bit stinky (due to the oil), sometimes shitting all day long (due to the cleansing-"medicine") and totally satisfied. So, all together smelly, but happy!
3. I already drove a little motorbike (on the LEFT) and it's so much fun!
4. My Ayurvedic doctor is my friend and a magic man. He's got supernatural superpower and I want him to adopt me and to heal me, of course.
5. I already know that I'll come back to this country and that 6 months are just a joke compared to what you can learn here in terms of everything!!!
back to life now...
1. The Indian food is AWESOME & it makes me smell like somebody I don't know, but probably like. So I have to get used my new self, which is very interesting. It sort of reminds you continuously that you're there. Hm.
2. We're getting an Ayurvedic treatment, which means that we're mainly oily, full of bruises a little bit stinky (due to the oil), sometimes shitting all day long (due to the cleansing-"medicine") and totally satisfied. So, all together smelly, but happy!
3. I already drove a little motorbike (on the LEFT) and it's so much fun!
4. My Ayurvedic doctor is my friend and a magic man. He's got supernatural superpower and I want him to adopt me and to heal me, of course.
5. I already know that I'll come back to this country and that 6 months are just a joke compared to what you can learn here in terms of everything!!!
back to life now...
Saturday, September 19, 2009
4th day in India
Time passes without asking you if you're ready or not.
We're still in Palolem and my friend is still sick, which is a real bummer. For both of us. For her, as she feels terrible. For me, as we're tight to this place and not able to move/plan or do anything. We're already trying our best with using every useful medicine we have, but so far without improvement.
Today I went for a little hike and found a marvelous place on the shore surrounded by black round rocks and a lush jungle. I spent most of the day there napping, reading, meditating. Then veg. Sheesh Kebab with "Kingfisher"(Indian beer and airline). Can't wait for action, adventure, adrenalin...though I'll never complain about relaxing at the beach;)
P.S.: Can't wait for more open travelers. Here everybody does his or her own thing. Not easy to get in touch (and frankly not always desirable).
We're still in Palolem and my friend is still sick, which is a real bummer. For both of us. For her, as she feels terrible. For me, as we're tight to this place and not able to move/plan or do anything. We're already trying our best with using every useful medicine we have, but so far without improvement.
Today I went for a little hike and found a marvelous place on the shore surrounded by black round rocks and a lush jungle. I spent most of the day there napping, reading, meditating. Then veg. Sheesh Kebab with "Kingfisher"(Indian beer and airline). Can't wait for action, adventure, adrenalin...though I'll never complain about relaxing at the beach;)
P.S.: Can't wait for more open travelers. Here everybody does his or her own thing. Not easy to get in touch (and frankly not always desirable).
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
OK
Alright. So obviously I'm in India, he? Doesn't necessarily feel like it I must say so far, but I guess that has to do with Goa or Palolem in particular. The foremost so-called hippie-paradise nowadays mutated to a juppie-eldorado, at least from what I've seen so far. Shopping booths, "sweety bars" and Mexican food. The full load of Junk-Tourism. First we arrived in Agonda, which is more of a tiny very very remote and quiet fisher village, but Sonja didn't want to stay for various reasons. I was a bit disappointed and irritated, but as we're traveling together it's ok to be flexibel.
In Agonda is also the Yoga place, whose reality appearance was a sort of surprise as well. I was expecting a sort of Ashram (as said in the web) but found a regular house, where the students are supposed to stay and nothing more. Nothing really - obviously - spiritual. Well, the "guru" himself seems to be a laid back guy who is really, eh, laid back? I really don't want to judge too fast and build my opinion on a quick impression. But as they say, the first impression stays. At the moment I really feel like checking out the area to get a feeling for the country and its people (who I don't get a connection to, yet, either So far people are very distant). In this very moment I would rather take a train and see Hampi, Pune and head finally over Mumbai to the Himalaya to get the "real" shit...
anyways, I take it easy and see how things develop. My friend Sonja is being sick all day long from the heat and the humidity, which doesn't make it easier and I also start realizing how different our traveling styles are. Hm, always not easy. You can be the best and closest friends, but when it comes to traveling you start from zero and the experiment can begin. But so far we're still communicating well, even if it's hard work sometimes. And I hope that it'll turn out as a positive experience for both. We'll see.
What I already know is one thing: I'm gonna go SHOPPING tomorrow! And now back into my room to get some night-sleep. finally
In Agonda is also the Yoga place, whose reality appearance was a sort of surprise as well. I was expecting a sort of Ashram (as said in the web) but found a regular house, where the students are supposed to stay and nothing more. Nothing really - obviously - spiritual. Well, the "guru" himself seems to be a laid back guy who is really, eh, laid back? I really don't want to judge too fast and build my opinion on a quick impression. But as they say, the first impression stays. At the moment I really feel like checking out the area to get a feeling for the country and its people (who I don't get a connection to, yet, either So far people are very distant). In this very moment I would rather take a train and see Hampi, Pune and head finally over Mumbai to the Himalaya to get the "real" shit...
anyways, I take it easy and see how things develop. My friend Sonja is being sick all day long from the heat and the humidity, which doesn't make it easier and I also start realizing how different our traveling styles are. Hm, always not easy. You can be the best and closest friends, but when it comes to traveling you start from zero and the experiment can begin. But so far we're still communicating well, even if it's hard work sometimes. And I hope that it'll turn out as a positive experience for both. We'll see.
What I already know is one thing: I'm gonna go SHOPPING tomorrow! And now back into my room to get some night-sleep. finally
Monday, September 14, 2009
last heart attack!!!
I just opened my email account and what do I find? An email by air India, which says: "Dear Ms. Bouars we asked you to send us a copy of your passport as we need it for your credit card authorization. We never received it and therefor cancelled your flight reservation." AAAAAAARGH!
I didn´t know what to do first: cry, scream, call my friend Sonja (who´s flying with me tormorrorw) to tell her what happened or just stay paralyzed and hope it´s a bad dream or a very very bad joke by god or Mr. AirIndia. In the end I decided to call the number on the bottom. After several minutes of waiting while listening to one of those melodies, which are already annoying without being totally stressed out a surprisingly nice woman answered the phone. She patiently listened to my fragmented flight-life-story and calmed me down by saying don´t worry we´ll find a solution. Well, and what can I say this woman tried everything for me and now got the flight for the SAME price, which is normally almost impossible as she told me then. Usually they go up to 2000Dollars and more.
Now I´m waiting for the email confirmation. I´m still super nervous staring anxiously at my email account hoping for the word "Air India" to appear...but I´m positive. Oh gosh, I have to become more organized I think;)
I didn´t know what to do first: cry, scream, call my friend Sonja (who´s flying with me tormorrorw) to tell her what happened or just stay paralyzed and hope it´s a bad dream or a very very bad joke by god or Mr. AirIndia. In the end I decided to call the number on the bottom. After several minutes of waiting while listening to one of those melodies, which are already annoying without being totally stressed out a surprisingly nice woman answered the phone. She patiently listened to my fragmented flight-life-story and calmed me down by saying don´t worry we´ll find a solution. Well, and what can I say this woman tried everything for me and now got the flight for the SAME price, which is normally almost impossible as she told me then. Usually they go up to 2000Dollars and more.
Now I´m waiting for the email confirmation. I´m still super nervous staring anxiously at my email account hoping for the word "Air India" to appear...but I´m positive. Oh gosh, I have to become more organized I think;)
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Pre-India time: 1,5 days left
Yesterday I went to a party in the famous "Kiefernstrasse", where I met an Englishman who said: "You know I'm still adjusting here in Germany. The thing that I still have to get used to is that people don't say "sorry" here. They say "BE CAREFUL"!" ( he lives here since 18 years!)
That's exactly what always makes me wanna leave again. Thank you Englishman, I agree so much on this.
The life-concept of the Kiefernstrasse made me wonder about coming back there one day. So inspiring! The people there so open, the atmosphere so friendly and wherever you look creativity. I wanna be part of it. Ok, step by step Sarah. Now, first a siesta then packing and some organizational things first. Life is being so sweet to me and I'm grateful for having all these wonderful people around me who give me so much love, power and who help me to stay open and full of faith! Thank you, I love you guys so much.
That's exactly what always makes me wanna leave again. Thank you Englishman, I agree so much on this.
The life-concept of the Kiefernstrasse made me wonder about coming back there one day. So inspiring! The people there so open, the atmosphere so friendly and wherever you look creativity. I wanna be part of it. Ok, step by step Sarah. Now, first a siesta then packing and some organizational things first. Life is being so sweet to me and I'm grateful for having all these wonderful people around me who give me so much love, power and who help me to stay open and full of faith! Thank you, I love you guys so much.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Pre-India time: 3 more days
It´s Saturday here and that leaves me less than 3 more days before my flight. I feel unprepared on the behalf of everything, which has to do with organizational stuff. Mentally I feel more than ready to leave here. It´s about time.
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